Bella Luna
by lionlvr
Summary: What happens when Bella is confronted by Victoria and Charlie is killed? The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer!
1. Chapter 1

AN: I have been on this site for weeks, and have been so impressed with the stories that are out there. They have give me inspiration to write one myself. This story takes place a few weeks after they return from Italy. **Please note that in this version, Bella had to move to Forks originally because her mom had died – so she came to live with her father. Also, Jacob – the werewolves – the treaty – etc… do not exist.**

Please review – but be nice… this is my first fan fiction. Actually the first and only story I have ever written… :o)

Chapter 1

BPOV

It had been a few weeks since my return from Italy, and things with the Cullens were just about back to normal. With the exception of Rosalie's new found amiability and my countdown to graduation, when Carlisle had promised to change me. Edward and his family were out hunting for the day, but I knew they would be back shortly after my shift at Newton's Outfitters Store and Edward would come to my room.

As I was driving home, and I looked up to the evening sky – it was twilight. The sun had just fallen over the horizon leaving an auburn hue swimming above. I smiled to myself as I remembered this being the favorite time in Edward's day. My mind absently began thinking obsessively about Edward.

Edward still felt immensely guilty about leaving me. He had insisted on trying to make it up to me everyway humanly, and non-humanly, possible. And he was constantly shoving food down my throat saying that I had gotten too thin. It had been especially rough the first few weeks of his return, because I was still having nightmares, and Edward did not handle those well. I remember when he experienced first hand my horrid dreams. I remember the dream from that night vividly:

_I was in the forest, and it was so dark and cold. I had been badly beaten physically and mentally. I felt so fragile, like I could break at any moment. I cried for someone to help me, calling out Edwards's name, but no one came. Then I was consumed by a rising heat, and suddenly I was surrounded by a wall of fire. I could hear laughter coming from a shrill voice, circling around me. I tried to look for a way out, and slowly the smoke filled my lungs and I could not breathe. As I was gasping for air, I looked down and saw that my body was engulfed in flames. I screamed cry for help but no one came. "Edward, where are you?" I sobbed. "How could you leave me?" _

_As I slowly began to awake from my dream that night, I knew I had been violently tossing and turning as I was twisted in my sheets. Then I became aware of two cold strong arms holding me. I was thankful for the coolness, because I was still slightly considering that my body was on fire. As I became aware of my consciousness and the fact that I was not burning to a crisp, I shot up in my bed – drenched in sweat – gasping for air. I was crying – well just about hysterical – and my throat was so dry. _

"_Charlie!" I heard Edward suddenly whisper. _

_And in an instant he disappeared. With in half a heartbeat, my bedroom door opened and Charlie appeared, rushing to my bedside. He grabbed my shoulders, shaking me, practically screaming at me "Bella! Bella! Are you ok? It is just another dream!" _

_I looked at him with fresh tears in my eyes and broke down sobbing once more. I was still in shock from my dream. He pulled me close, patting my back, and whispering soothing words. Edward must have known at this point that this had been a regular occurrence while he was gone. I felt instantly chagrin. Then suddenly, I realized my father was crying. My father was crying! I pulled back. _

"_Dad?" I whispered, trying to calm myself and catch my breath. _

"_Oh Bella!" He sobbed, "I thought you would get better now that Edward had returned, but he has done too much damage. I don't know how to help you!" _

"_Dad, I am okay. I will be okay." I tried to soothe, but even I was not sure I would believe the words. We sat there for a few moments, until we had both stopped crying. I did not know what to say. I felt so bad that my behavior had affected my dad in such a way. I was ashamed. I gave him a smile and said, "Dad, don't worry. Please. I am better. I promise. My dreams just get carried away sometimes. Trust me."_

"_I know Bells. I love you so much. Try to get some more sleep." He whispered. And with that, he kissed me on my sweaty forehead and walked out of the room closing the door. I will make this up to you dad, I promise, I thought to myself. _

_Edward was instantly by my side. The anguish on his face was unbearable. Tears silently fell from my eyes as I felt the pain he must be going through. "This is not your fault." But my words fell on deaf ears. I knew him seeing Charlie break like that was just too much._

"_How could I have done this to you Bella? I did not even think it would affect you like this; I have broken you. The pain I went through when I left, not having you with me anymore, would have killed me if I was human. How could I think that my leaving wouldn't do the same to you? But, it did kill you, just not physically. I am so stupid and selfish. Please, please forgive me Bella. What can I do to help you, to soothe your fears and dark dreams?" His eyes were begging for my forgiveness._

"_Give me forever with you" I replied. He did not respond. He did not have to. We both knew he would never let me go through the experience of being changed without him. He held me the rest of that night soothing me and humming his lullaby until I felt into a safe slumber, making promises to never leave me and that everything would be ok._

So after that night, my nightmares started occurring less and less until finally they stopped altogether. I could visibly see the relief on Charlie as the nights passed when he did not have to run into my room in the middle of the night to soothe me from a nightmare.

As I pulled into my driveway, I absentmindedly thought about what to cook Charlie for dinner. _Fish again_, I thought and chuckled to myself. He was so much easier to live with then my mother had been. My mind raced to the night of that horrible car accident that had taken her life and prompted my move-in with Charlie. Within one week my life had been turned upside. I shuddered as I remembered her funeral and the despair I had felt. When I had moved to Forks, I was literally numb and I felt so alone. But how could something so good come from something so bad? I immediately felt remorse as my thoughts moved to understanding that if it wasn't for my mother's death, I would have never moved up to Forks to live with my father, therefore I would have never met Edward. I shook my head erasing those thoughts from my mind.

As I walked through the door, I tripped on the entryway, but quickly corrected my step. I was still clumsy as ever. I headed for the kitchen to begin dinner, but was stunned by what I found waiting for me. There she was - pale skin, dark circles under her eyes, hair afire, and crimson eyes which were filled with death.


	2. Chapter 2

"Finally, I have you alone Bella." I flinched back from the hatred in her voice.

"Victoria," my voice broke, barely in a whisper. I knew it was over for me at that moment. I was overcome by sadness to know that I wouldn't even have a chance to say goodbye to my Edward…or my father. My father! He would be home any minute. I had to get Victoria out of here and fast. I took off running towards the back door, knowing she would follow. But she beat me to the door and pushed me so hard that I flew into the fridge – leaving an indentation into the wall. As my body fell to the floor, I tried to catch my breath.

"Victoria…" I gasped. "Please not here, take me outside."

"Why should I grant you any favors?" She hissed. "No one considered my feelings as your family tore my James up to shreds. My reason to live has been taken away from me, and I will do the same to your Edward."

She flew at me, picking me up like a rag dog and throwing me into the living room, breaking the coffee table. I was surrounded by pieces of glass and wood, gasping for breath. I tried to turn around and crawl towards the door, but my arm collapsed underneath me with my bone poking out of my skin like it was stuck in plastic.

"Oh, no you don't!" She screamed. I felt her claw and dig into my back, pick me up and throw me into the sofa table that held all my pictures from childhood. I was hoping that didn't break my other arm, but felt a sharp pain in my side. I could barely breathe. I watched as blood trickled over my old school pictures from when I was younger.

Then, suddenly, the door flew open and Charlie stood there with shock and horror on his face.

"No, dad, run!" I tried to scream, but my voice was barely a whisper. I saw him draw out his gun and ineffectually shoot Victoria. Of course the bullets were deflected by her stone skin, and she laughed menacingly. The look on his face turned to fear as she lunged towards my father.

"Dad!" I tried to reach out with terror in my voice. He never even had a chance. At least she was quick with him and in one lithe motion she twisted his neck and sucked every ounce of blood from him. Then she threw his lifeless body onto the sofa. I was violently shaking and knew I was going into shock. My father had just been killed in front of my eyes, and it was my entire fault. My chest tightened and felt my lungs closing in. I couldn't breathe, my face twisting in horror and grief. My eyes seemed like tunnels as she sauntered towards me with a look of pride on her face – she knew she had made me suffer more than she could physically cause and that made her happy.

I felt a sense of de-ja-vu, and knew that what James could not accomplish, Victoria would. I closed my eyes and sent my mind to the only happiness I could think of – Edward. My memories flowed from the first time I laid eyes on his sculptured body to all the events that had unfolded through the past year. I could not regret any. They say when you are about to die your life will flash before your eyes, but the only thing I thought about was my time with Edward, my angel. It seemed like it was a movie rolling through my mind.

I felt Victoria grab me by the neck and lift me up, and I was hoping she would end it quickly. Then I heard gasps coming from the front door. Victoria looked at the door and through me down as if I was a piece of clothing that she was slamming to the floor in anger – and then everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

EPOV

_This cannot be happening!_ I thought as I raced through the forest to Bella's house. Panic and rage had filled my body. I could not believe Alice's vision. I am sure she would have seen it much sooner if we had not been hunting. It wasn't until after she regained composer from her senses after hunting that she saw what was probably currently unfolding at Bella's house. _This is my entire fault! I just can't keep from putting her in danger, no matter what. And if anything happens to Charlie, I know Bella will blame herself. Oh God, this cannot be happening. _ I thought to myself.

_It will be OK Edward; we will get there in time. _ Jasper's thoughts roared through my mind, but he was not trying to calm me. I know he was as anxious as I was.

"Esme, go and grab the Mercedes and bring it to the Swan's house. We might need a car and an alibi" Carlisle told Esme. And with that Esme disappeared into the encroaching forest to our home.

_Prepare for the worse son. If she is close to dying you need to change her or I will. There will be no hesitation. _Carlisle's authoritative voice rang in my mind. I looked over and gave him a nod to show I would not put up a fight. I was planning on changing her anyway on her graduation night – marriage or not. I just hoped she was ok, so she could have a bit more time being human. There was so much I wanted to fill her in on before she was cursed with eternal damnation. Of course she did not see it that way, but I wanted to prepare her so she was not shocked at all the changes she would feel with becoming immortal.

I was horrified as we got closer to the Swan residence. I could smell Bella's blood and Charlie's lingering in the air. I started running faster than I ever thought possible and went ahead of my family. As soon as I crossed over the threshold, I saw Victoria holding Bella up in a chokehold. She looked battered and beaten. As I rushed towards Victoria, she threw Bella to the ground, forcing her unconscious.

Victoria lunged for me and I immediately grabbed her arms and ripped them out of her skin like a doll. Then I rushed to Bella's side. "Charlie…" she moaned. I knew Charlie was dead because I could only hear Bella's heartbeat. Then I looked and saw his pale, limp, lifeless body strewn on the couch.

As Victoria lay in agony on the floor, I carried Bella out of the house. Just as I got outside, Emmett and Jasper ran into the house to finish Victoria off. I gently laid Bella on the grass so Carlisle could check over her. She looked horrible, but no where as beaten as when we found her with James. Except this time would far worse emotionally for her – by far.

"Her arm is broken, and she has some shattered ribs." Carlisle informed us and then he lifted her a bit to see her back. I was horrified at the site. It looked like she had been mauled by a wild dog. I heard Esme gasp having already returned with Carlisle's car.

"She will be ok, but we need to get her to a hospital." Carlisle soothed. "What about Charlie?" He asked.

"He is gone." Alice looked as if she would be crying if she could as the words spilled out of her mouth. "Poor Bella," she sobbed. We all knew this would be difficult for Bella since she had just lost her mom not even two years ago. Rosalie, who had been quiet this whole time, leaned over and hugged Alice. At that moment Jasper and Emmett came out of the house. Normally Emmett would have a smug look on his face coming out of a fight, but in this situation he looked so distressed.

_This is horrible. _

_Poor Bella. _

_She is constantly in danger Edward. _

_I should have seen this sooner. _

I could hear all my family's thoughts.

"We will be her family now." Esme confirmed out loud.

"We need a plan." Carlisle spoke. "Everyone go back to the house except for me and Edward. We will set the house on fire and make sure it burns to the ground. The story will be this: I was dropping off Edward at Bella's before my shift at the hospital, when we saw the house on fire. Bella had jumped out of her window to save herself, but Charlie could not get out in time. Are we all clear?" No one needed to answer. With that everyone took off and Carlisle ran in the house to start the fire. He was able to start it in several locations so the house would burn to ash quickly, before the town could notice the smoke. We could not leave any traces behind.

When he came out of the house, I gently picked up Bella and sat with her in the backseat of Carlisle's car, cradling her. She was having difficulty with her breathing and I knew her recovery would be tough. Shattered ribs were not easily healed. But I was thankful that she would be okay physically, and I could prepare her for her change. I worried about her mental well being though, now with Charlie gone. She was so warm and brave; she just didn't deserve this…any of this.

BPOV

When I awoke, I groggily recognized that I was in a hospital room. How familiar I thought. I knew I was no where as bad off as I had been after James, but it was enough to be hooked up to IV's (uggghh…) and a heart monitor. My vision was blurry and I winced in pain as I tried to move my neck. I also found it extremely difficult to breathe. I could not quite remember how I had gotten there, and I was starting to panic. Then I felt a pair of cold, smooth hands touch my face.

"Shhh… Bella." His musical voice soothed. "You are going to be just fine." At that moment I met his topaz eyes and saw pain and regret in them. He slowly started humming my lullaby, but I could not relax.

"What happened?" I was so confused. Then I saw Carlisle come in with a look of concern on his face, he was also brandishing a syringe.

"She needs to rest more." I heard him tell Edward and I saw him fiddling on my left side with the IV tube and bag. "Did she remember anything?" Carlisle asked so quietly I could barely hear. "Is she upset?"

"I think she is pretty out of it." Edward replied.

I vaguely wondered why they were talking like I wasn't there a then I was blanketed by darkness again.

Then next time I woke, I felt much better. My neck did not hurt as much, and I did not feel as medicated. My mind was clearer. I looked around the room and it was adorned with tons of flowers and balloons. Then I saw my greek god looking as tired as ever sitting next to me, if vampires could look tired.

"I could not rein Alice in…" he smiled sheepishly gesturing to all my gifts.

As my thoughts started to conjure up what lead me to the hospital bed in the first place, I heard my heartbeat rapidly increase. Victoria. She had found me. And Charlie! Oh no, not Charlie!

Immediately Edward was at my side. 

"Charlie?" my voice came out so hoarse, but was saturated with panic.

Edward did not need to respond. I could see the look in his eyes and I new I had lost my father. I started to sob, despite the pain in my sides. I couldn't breathe, and I tried to move my hands up to cover my face but was pulled back by tubes and pinching of needles. Edward wrapped his hands around my face and pulled his forehead on to mine. He hummed his lullaby and his cool, sweet breath soothed me. I felt so horrified that I had killed my father.

"What have I done?" I asked Edward as my gasping was settling down. "My father is gone. What have I done?" I repeated over and over.

"Isabella – Bella – listen to me." Edward's voice was full of authority. "This was not your fault. Don't you dare blame yourself for this."

"We are here for you Bella" Esme's voice came comfortingly from behind Edward. Then I saw Carlisle. They were both standing next to my bed now with Edward. "You are not alone in this," Carlisle assured me and they all reach forward and grabbed my hand. I just turned my head and sobbed hopelessly for the loss of my father.


	4. Chapter 4

BPOV

After a few days, I was released from the hospital. The Cullen's insisted on me staying with them, since Charlie's house was a pile of ash and dust.

Carlisle apologized profusely that he did not think to gather any of my belongings or Charlie's that I might want to keep for memories before he had torched the house. The only thing he had grabbed was Charlie's wallet which had fallen out at some point in his struggle with Victoria. Carlisle said he had grabbed the wallet because it might have important legal information that we would need for Charlie's will and estate. No matter how many times I told Carlisle it was okay and not anyone's fault, I knew he still felt horrible. Even though I spoke those words myself, I felt desperately empty. The only memory I had now was the necklace that held my mother's old wedding ring from when she had married Charlie that I had been wearing during the attack. Even though my parents were divorced, I wore it anyway. I know it was silly, but it made me feel as if my mother was still with me in some way. I wish I had something that I could remember Charlie with.

As I was leaving the hospital, in clothes that Alice had more than willingly got for me, I absently thought about all the new things I would need to by. I owned absolutely nothing, not even money. I knew I would get something from Charlie's life insurance policy, but I did not want to think about that now. I don't know if I would ever be able to do anything with that money. I didn't want it. I shuddered at the thought of having to be so reliant on the Cullens. I knew Edward would be more than willing to take care of me, but I liked my independence. This was going to be tough.

"Bella, I have something for you." Edward said in a quiet hum as we walked to the car in the hospital parking lot. He had a look on his face like he was unsure if he wanted to give it to me. He opened the passenger door for me, helped me in, and smoothly got into the drivers side. He must want me sitting down for this, I absently thought.

Slowly, he held out his hand and carefully watched my reaction. What was he so worried about? But when I saw what he was holding, I instantly broke down in sobs. I had been proud of myself that I had kept my composure since everything had happened, I hadn't broken down once. One time when Carlisle came in to check my stats, he had told me it was okay to cry and I shouldn't hold it in. But I just couldn't. I had felt numb, like I was swimming in a bad dream and unable to wake up. But what Edward held out to me, broke me instantly. In his perfectly sculpted marble hand, he held the one thing that could ensure my father was always with me – his old wedding ring to my mother.

"H-h-ow…" I tried to gasp out between sobs.

"Shhhh, Bella." Edward had suddenly appeared on my side of the car and was holding me half out the door. I could not get a grip on myself. I was violently shaking and sobbing. I could barely breathe. I grabbed onto Edward for dear life.

"Let it out Bella." His voice was musical and felt like a blanket wrapping around my thoughts.

I just sat there and cried. He did not say anything else, just gently rubbed my back and gave me light kisses in my hair, face, shoulders, hands waiting patiently for the endless waterfall of tears to stop gushing. I don't know how long we sat like that for, but eventually my sobbing quieted and my eyes had no more tears and were burning and swollen.

At some point Edward had slipped my father's ring on the same necklace as my mother's which I was wearing. Now they would both be close to me. As he started the car Edward explained that when Carlisle was looking through the wallet because he was taking care of all the paper work surrounding Charlie's death and finances, he found the ring next to a picture of Charlie holding me when I was a baby.

We continued to Edward's house in silence. I was lost in my thoughts about my impending living situation. I looked down at my knees.

"Edward, I should get a hotel or something." Not like I could pay for one right now, I thought.

"Why would you say that Bella? Do you not want to stay with me?" His voice was so soft and cautious, like he was worried that I might break from his words.

"No, no. Of course I do. But won't this be difficult for Jasper and everyone else to have the scent of my blood constantly in the house?" I asked with concern.

"Just like Bella – always worrying about everyone but yourself. No it will be okay because we are going to stay in the guest house. I mean… you are… well, "we" if you want me to stay with you. I would understand if you want to be alone though." Even though he kept his face smooth and unreadable, I could see the pain in his eyes begin to flicker wondering if I wanted to stay with him.

"That is stupid Edward. You better be staying with me." I snickered. With that he brought my hand up to his face and gently kissed it. "You know," I added honestly curious, "when did you guys get a guest house?"

"Well, everyone has been working on it since you have been in the hospital. Jasper and Emmett did all the carpentry and plumbing, etc. while Rosalie and Esme decorated and painted. They are really excited for you to see it." He gave me a hesitant smile unsure if I would be upset because they built a special house, just for me. But I was too exhausted emotionally, and physically, to be upset. "And Bella, Alice has put together all the arrangements for Charlie's funeral and service, so you won't have to worry about that. It is going to be tomorrow." He added.

"Oh okay" was all I could say. I felt bad that Alice had to do that alone, because I know she cared for Charlie too, but I was also relieved. I had to do most of the planning for my mom's funeral and it really was horrible. I hated talking to the funeral director, and his fake soothing voice and smile, and the smell of the funeral home was absolutely horrid.

I looked up and realized we were already at the house, and had just been sitting in his driveway. I wondered how long we had been there?

"Are you ready to go inside, or do you want to stay here for a while?" Again, Edward was talking to me like his words would break me or something.

"Edward, I am going to be fine…okay?" I gave him a slight smile and squeezed his hand.

"He leaned over and gently brushed his smooth lips against mine. Stopping, he rested his head on my forehead, affectionately holding the sides of my face.

"I love you so much Isabella, forever." His cool breath swarmed my face, and I started to feel light headed.

"I love you Edward, forever." I struggled to get the words out, as I was so dizzy. He lightly chuckled and then my door was instantly opened and he was smoothly helping me out of the car.


	5. Chapter 5

BPOV

As we walked up to the house, I felt a sudden wave of numbness spread through me. _Thanks Jasper…_I thought. I really was thankful because I did not want to feel anything. When we walked in, I was expecting for everyone to come up to us and I was a bit uncomfortable. I just didn't really feel like talking to anyone or putting on a fake front. I really just wanted to be alone. But, luckily, no one seemed to be around. The house was completely silent, and I was unsure if anyone was home at all. Edward was holding my left hand with his left hand, and had his arm wrapped around my back, gently holding my right broken arm, rubbing smooth circles into my skin as we walked further into the house.

"Where is everyone?" I asked with curiosity staining my cheeks, trying poorly to hide the relief in my voice.

"They all went out to hunt. They should be back within the hour though. I think they wanted to give you some privacy to settle in." Edward murmured and his voice was as silky as a butterfly's wing.

"Oh, I could have sworn I felt Jasper." Edward turned and gave me a weird expression, then just shrugged his shoulders.

I looked around the room and stared in awe out the south wall that was a full window. There I saw the cutest little cottage in the meadow, right in front of the river. Cottage is the only word I can use to describe it. It was the same color as the house, a soft white, and looked like it was made from the same wood. It had a little front porch that wrapped around the side with a swing on it. All of the windows had shutters, matching the color of the front door, which was a soft blue. And it was surrounded by beautiful sunflowers – my favorite flower.

"Wow." I breathed, breathlessly.

"It is not much, but it will do." Edward responded.

I whirled to face him. "Not much! I absolutely love it!" I exasperated. "You guys really did not have to do all this."

"Yes, we did." Edwards face was grave. He blamed himself, of course, for this whole thing. I argued that we all die sometime – my mother died and it wasn't his fault. When it is your time to go, it is your time to go. Either way, I am sure this was Charlie's time to go. But as I had said these words to him, I did not believe them myself. I blamed myself for Charlie's death and no one else.

Suddenly I realized I was being betrayed by silent tears that overwhelmed my eyes and fell onto my blushed cheek. Edward cupped his hands to my face, and gently brushed his lips against my cheeks, catching the tears one by one.

"Let's look inside." He whispered with excitement dancing in his eyes, trying to change the mood I'm sure.

We stepped outside, and there was a path made with what looked like glass stones, that lead to the little house. The path sparkled in the dazzling sunlight. When we got on the porch I turned around. I had never seen the backside of Edward's house. I gasped as I saw the whole backside made of blacked out glass. I would have never had thought the windows were tinted from the inside, but from the outside semblance it was impossible to see in.

I turned back around, as I heard Edward open the front door to the newly built guest house. The inside was more beautiful than I could ever imagine. It was just like the house, with hardwood floors and light colors. The living room was adorned with plush couches, a state of the art TV and sound system, as well as some of Esme's abstract paintings. It was so positive and bright, I couldn't help but smile. As we walked further in, we came to a hallway that opened to the kitchen, which of course was huge, with top notch stainless steel appliances and endless counter space.

"Look!" Edward opened the fridge proudly. It was filled with all of my favorite foods.

I couldn't help but giggle.

"Music to my ears" Edward sighed giving his crooked grin.

Just after the kitchen was a beautiful dining table set under a petite, elegant chandelier. The table was set with the most beautiful plates, glasses, and linen that complimented the chandelier. The center piece was a bunch of different sized candles on glass pedestals. It literally looked like something out of the Pottery Barn catalogue. I was so mesmerized that I could not move; I was so entranced by the beauty of it all.

"Do you want to see your room?" Edward mused with a smirk on his face.

"Our room?" I questioned with sarcasm licking my lips.

"Our room." Edward clarified, raising his eyebrows and giving me a dazzling smile.

"Ok, lead the way." I choked out, trying to gain composure from his God like beauty.

As we walked down another hallway that leads off from the kitchen, we walked by another room that had its door closed.

"wha-" I started to ask. But Edward put his fingers to my lips.

"We will come back to that." He whispered, and put his hand on the small of my back pushing me along.

As we got close, Edward whispered to me to close my eyes. I did so without question. When he told me to open them, I gasped and held my mouth open in shock.

"Wow." I was breathless for the second time that day. The room was absolutely exquisite. The entire back wall was made of the same glass from the house and opened to a view of the stream and surrounding forest. I felt like nature was right in my room and would be sleeping with me. The bed looked like something for a princess. It was high, and had four posts that were ornately decorated with intricate designs. The comforter was so fluffy and looked like it was spun from pure silk. I was scared to touch it.

Edward pulled me patiently, slowly further into the room. I noticed the bathroom and walk in closet. It looked like something out of a five star hotel. My closet was filled with tons of different types of clothes and shoes – all that I knew would fit me perfectly. _Well, at least I wont ever have to worry about looking fashionable and nice for Edward…_ I thought. And my bathroom was filled with all the necessities every girl could ever dream of. I cringed though when I saw the huge container of make-up and hair products. Alice was planning on reliving her "human-hood" through me… I could tell.

"I hope you are not mad at the girls," Edward chuckled, noticing my assessment of all the material that I did not really need.

"Of course not…" I sweetly smiled, clenching my jaw thinking about the impending countless hours of dress up I would have to endure with Alice and Rosalie. "Seriously though, this was really sweet. I really did need a lot of these items. I don't know how I can ever repay your family though."

"Family does not need to repay family, and you are our family now – you have always been." He simply replied. My heart skipped a beat as the words flowed out of his mouth. Yes, he was all I had now.

I walked out of the bathroom to take a closer look at the bedroom. I noticed a night stand and a dresser with a beautiful mirror, made out of the same complexly designed wood that held the bed. On top of the nightstand, I noticed a simple silver frame. As I walked closer to it, I saw a picture of my father, very young – in his early twenties, holding me as a baby. My heart instantaneously dropped into my stomach. This must have been the picture Carlisle found in my dad's wallet. I grabbed the picture and held it close to my chest sinking to the floor, resting my head against the bed. I could not move, and I was gasping for air.

"Bella!?" Edwards's voice seemed muffled and as if it was very far away.

My head felt like it was detached from my body, and I could feel my heart thudding against the wall of my chest. All the blood was draining from my face. _I am having a panic attack…so this is what it feels like to really lose it…_ I absently thought. I just stared out the window, at the stream, unable to even blink. My breath was coming in quick, sharp intervals and my mind was being consumed by a darkness that I could not comprehend – it was numbing. Thoughts of my father slowly flashed through my head …my dad holding me on his lap as I drove his cruiser around a parking lot, giggling like a five year old should…my dad teaching me how to tie my shoes and ride my bike…the relaxing silence of our fishing trips - then the thoughts turned cryptic as I my memories became more recent - thoughts of his last day alive.

Something was shaking me and screaming at me, but I couldn't look away from my thoughts that had now consumed me. The voice sounded like it was far away, and I could not reach it. Suddenly I heard more voices shouting, and Edward was in front of me, hands on my face, shaking my head. His lips were moving frantically but I could not hear a word. Although he was right in front of me, I couldn't really see him. I just kept staring into nothing. Then I felt a small prick on the small of my back, and I was enveloped by darkness.

EPOV

_I should have hid the picture. Dammit! I knew she wasn't ready. What was I thinking!!! _I cursed myself over and over again.

I had never seen Bella react like this, or anybody react like this for that matter. I knew she was in shock when her breathing became scarce and she just stared into space without blinking. At first I tried to comfort her when I saw her fall to the floor. But, she wasn't crying or anything. I tried calling her name, but she wouldn't answer me. After about twenty minutes, I began to get worried – I thought she would have snapped out of it by now, but she still hadn't moved an inch. In fact, I don't even recall her blinking. Her breathing was becoming more erratic, so I started shaking her, yelling her name – hoping to get her out of her comatose state. I debated whether I should pick her up or move her, but she was frozen, clutching the frame with all her might and was extremely pale, violently shivering.

Then I saw the trees ruffle momentarily outside. I heard the different voices of my family members, and I knew they had returned from hunting.

"Carlisle!" I shouted. I was panicked. I felt so helpless.

Everyone came running in the door at the frantic sound of my voice.

"Oh dear!" I heard Esme cry and she halted, along with everyone else just in front of the bed.

"Carlisle, please help." I dry sobbed. I could not stand to see my Bella like this. I could feel Jasper trying to ease the tension.

_I am going to get my medical bag_, Carlisle informed me and disappeared.

"I can't feel her emotions at all" Jasper said aloud with confusion written all over his face.

Carlisle came rushing back in. "She is in shock. How long has she been like this?"

"About 25 minutes…Oh God, what is going to happen to her? What if this was all too much and everything has come crashing down on her at once – falling in love with a vampire – James – my leaving - the Volturi – Victoria… I mean how much can a human really take?" The words were pouring out of my mouth, and I felt so vulnerable with my family listening in on my fears.

"It will be okay." Carlisle assured. "I am going to give her something that will make her fall asleep, and I am sure she will have snapped out of this when she wakes up."

He leaned down and lifted the back of Bella's shirt. I could still see the bruises and slashes on her back from Victoria. He quickly gave her a shot, and immediately her eyes began to droop and she dropped the picture she had been clutching. Her breathing became normal and rhythmic, pushing her into a deep slumber.

"Dream well" I whispered as I carried her into the bed.

"Let's get her out of these clothes, and into something comfortable." Alice was standing by me in an instant. She put her hand on my shoulder and looked deep into my eyes. In her vision, I saw that Bella would be okay when she woke up. She would not even remember this breakdown. I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

I stepped out of the room with the rest of my family and let Alice change her into her pajamas. I was exhausted and felt like I could break at any moment. My family just stared at me and their thoughts all came through at once. I put my hands over my head, slowly shaking it.

"You should go hunting." Emmett's voice boomed over everyone's thoughts.

"Yes." I replied. I needed to get away for a bit, to have a release of some sort.

I turned to Esme. "Please stay with Bella." I could have asked anyone, but I figured that Esme was the best suited since she was our mother figure, and that is definitely something Bella needed right now. Esme nodded and I took off running.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

When I awoke, I felt extremely groggy. It was just like how I felt when I woke up at a hospital. But I was way too comfortable to be in a hospital bed and I could not hear that annoying beep. There was a soft glow in front of me and as I slowly opened my eyes, I saw the stream and forest staring back at me through a beautiful glass wall. My bed was so soft and it felt like I was lying in a cloud. I felt a cold presence behind me, holding me close. I turned to lie on my back so I could look into Edward's beautiful amber eyes, but I winced in pain as I felt the burn and bruises from the cuts that Victoria had left me.

"Don't move, love," Edwards's sweet voice sang in my ear as he slowly rolled me back on my side.

"Okay." I breathed out, and I smiled to myself, perfectly content to stay in this position forever. Edward's arms cradled around me, and he softly pushed his body up against my back, bending his legs so they fit perfectly into the crooks of mine. His cool body helped to soothe the burning on my back.

We laid there for an immeasurable amount of time before I realized that I had no idea when I fell asleep or how long I had been sleeping for. The last thing I remembered was Edward touring me around my new home… our new home.

"Edward…" My husky voice was thick with long hours of sleep. "What happened? I don't remember falling asleep?"

His soft chuckle had a hint of sadness in it.

"You kind of freaked out, Bella…uh…when you saw…um…" The words were biting at Edward's lips, but he wouldn't let them out. He took a deep breath, and the words pushed out like a rapid river through a dam. "…when you saw the picture of you and your dad that we had framed for you. I am so sorry Bella, I didn't mean to upset you. It was too soon for a memory like that. I should have known."

"What do you mean I freaked out…" _Oh God_! I thought. _What exactly did I do…was I running around screaming… did I try to hit him…did his family see me "freaking out"??? _I could feel my cheeks swelling with blood.

"It's okay Bella…there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Once you saw the picture you just collapsed on the floor and wouldn't move. You were completely staring off into space; lost in your mind. It really scared me. I didn't know how to help you. Then everyone came back from hunting, and Carlisle assured us that you would be okay. He gave you a sedative and you have been asleep ever since." He paused waiting for me to intake everything he just said.

"Hmmm… it was just like when you left then." I thought out loud.

"What!?" He was surprised and confused with my words,

"Well, when you left, that is how Sam found me in the forest, except I didn't snap out of it until a week later. The doctor was talking about putting me into a mental hospital, but Charlie wouldn't let him."

"Oh, God…that must have been horrible for your d-" He stopped himself. "Well, that must be how you handle stressful situations. I am so sorry I did that to you … and I am sorry that this happened to your dad … and that you have to go through this." He sounded like he would be crying if he could. I felt his cool breath lick the back of my neck.

"Edward, gosh…" I sighed loudly, frustrated. "How many times do we have to go through this? It is not your fault. When you left, you thought you were doing what was right. And whether it was Victoria, or a shooting at work, or a car crash, a sickness, or old age – either way, Charlie was going to die someday." I squeezed his arm as tightly as I could with my body, trying to believe the words I just said myself.

Suddenly there was a light tapping on the front door. _Perfect timing_ I thought. I did not want to continue this conversation probably anymore than he did.

I slowly sat up in the bed, with Edward's help. My body felt really weak, like I had just run a marathon. I was in the cutest Victoria Secret pajamas – I thoughtlessly wondered who helped me get into these. My heart sped up at the thought of Edward seeing me naked.

"Hi there," Carlisle's voice entered the room. He looked like he was about to be going into work, or he just got home. He strolled over to the bed and sat down next to me. "How are you feeling Bella?" He asked softly.

"I feel really weak and tired." I replied, but I could not look into his eyes. I was so embarrassed by my previous behavior.

Carlisle came closer to me and lifted my chin up and gently felt the nymph glands along my neck. "You have a bit of a temperature." His voice was barely a whisper, as if he didn't intend for me to hear. He came around behind me and asked, "May I?" I nodded, and he lifted up my shirt to check out the wounds on my back. "These are healing fine. There seems to be no sign of infection. How does your arm feel?"

I lifted up my cast, and said "Kind of itchy."

They both chuckled and then Carlisle flashed a look towards Edward before he said, "You are really deficient in iron. We need to get some good food in you."

"I am not hungry, I actually feel a little sick. I don't think I could eat anything." The thought of food made my stomach churn and I was hoping they would not make me eat.

"That wasn't a request Bella," replied Edward with concern written all over his face. I sighed and looked at Carlisle.

"That is just a side effect of the sedative. I am sure once the food is in front of you, you will feel differently." Carlisle paused and looked at Edward. I saw Edward look from side to side and I knew he was telling Carlisle no to something and then I saw Edward nod his head once. Before I had a chance to interrupt their silent conversation, Carlisle spoke. "Bella," he said authoritatively. "I don't think it would be a good idea for you to go to Charlie's service today, but I am going to leave that decision up to you."

I felt my chest instantly drop. I am sure Carlisle did not want me to make a scene. Edward noticed my insecurities right away.

"It is not what you think Bella. We just don't know if you are healthy enough to go through that. Another breakdown and you might need to go back to the hospital. I really don't want to do that to you. I want you to stay here." Edward pleaded with glassy eyes.

"Well, I think I should make that choice on my own." I mumbled. I did not mean to make the words sound so nasty, but I suddenly felt angry. I felt like I had no control over anything anymore, not even my own emotions.

"Of course," Carlisle confirmed taking that as his queue to leave. "Well, I need to check in with the hospital for a few hours, but I will be back this afternoon. Please get some food in you…especially if you plan on attending the service later." He got up, and I just knew he was telling an array of things to Edward in his mind. I huffed in frustration.

Throughout the rest of the morning, everyone came by to say hello and see how I was feeling. Edward had brought me some granola cereal, which was my favorite, and I obediently took a few bites. Then he made me swallow down these horse pills that he said were vitamins, but honestly I have never seen pills that big. To avoid conflict, I agreed and did what I was told. At about one in the afternoon, I had been feeling a lot better, and I made my decision that I wanted to go to Charlie's service. I had to have closure.

It really wasn't as bad as I thought. Of course, everyone was carefully watching me the whole time wondering when I was going to break, but I actually did a good job at holding myself together. There was no coffin, since Charlie's body burned in the fire, but there were a lot of pictures from friends of his and people at the station. Alice did a really nice job preparing everything. The flowers were beautiful and the song she chose fit Charlie perfectly. As "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong played, I could not help but cry silent tears. Edward and Alice strengthened their arms around me. I felt like I was going to be sick – but managed to keep it together. By the time the service was over, I think I had hugged fifty or more people who had told me how they knew my dad, what a wonderful man he was, what a good cop for the force he was, how he was one with nature…etc.

During the ride home, Edward was quiet, so I let my mind wander. We had taken his car separately in case I wanted to leave early, which I did – on behalf of Carlisle's insistent request. He was really taking over like a father for me. I was really looking forward to all of this being over – meaning my human life. Maybe Carlisle would change me sooner, so I could forget about the hurt in my human life? Maybe I should agree to just marry Edward now and he will change me? Before all of this happened, I was going to tell him yes anyway, but I wonder if he would think I was telling him yes, just so I wouldn't have to be alone. Ughhh, all these stupid thoughts need to just go away.

We were hanging out in the big house, watching aimless TV, when everyone came home.

"Thanks so much for doing all that Alice. It was really a beautiful service." I said with a smile as she walked into the room.

She sat down on the couch next to me and put her head on my shoulder.

"I love you Bella," she simply said.

"I know… I love you too." It was such a sincere moment, that I felt my eyes start to water.

"Ughh, no," and Alice's head shot up with concern. I giggled softly. "If I shed anymore tears I will be as dry as a barren desert!" Everyone broke out in laughter.

We all sat in the living room that night, watching movies, playing board games, and making jokes. I actually was enjoying myself. This felt like a real family - one that I wanted to be apart of forever.

We all hung out like that, being lazy and just having fun, for the rest of the weekend. I experienced first hand what it looked like for vampires to wrestle – it was quite entertaining. I also had time to really get to know everyone, hearing endless stories about their existences - stories that they had not been able to tell in years.

I spent a lot of the time thinking about what I was going to do with the extra room I had in the cottage - this was the room that was closed when Edward had given me a tour of the cottage. When he had opened the door for the first time, I thought there was going to be something big in there, but to my surprise it was completely empty. He said that they left this room untouched, so I could do what I wanted with it. After thinking about it for a couple of days, I decided I would turn it into a music room, similar to Edward's bedroom. But in this room, I would not be listening to CD's. I wanted to learn to play guitar, and I wanted to get a guitar just like the one Charlie had. Edward loved the idea when I told him and he said that it would be a summer project we could work on together. I was really excited.

By Sunday, I had insisted that I be allowed to return to school, so I could graduate. Everyone agreed, except Edward of course. But, Carlisle checked me over and said that I was healthy enough and there shouldn't be a problem – so there was no validity to his argument. Carlisle even said that I might be able to have my cast off by then.

That night, as Edward and I walked to our little cottage from the house so I could get some sleep, the moon skipped across the glass pebbles in the walkway making them sparkle. I noticed that there were tons of candles lit on the porch, and it looked so beautiful. Edward stopped before we got to the porch steps and scooped me up into his arms, then he set me down on the porch swing.

"Don't move" he commanded with both nervousness and excitement in his eyes at once. And he disappeared only to appear within a breath later with a blanket. He wrapped the blanket around me and we sat together on the swing looking up into the stars. Edward seemed to be wrapped up in his thoughts and was bouncing his leg anxiously – something I had never, ever seen him do.

I was just about to turn to him and ask what was going on; when in one swift moment he was on his knee in front of me holding both my hands.

He pulled my hands gently to his lips and kissed them. He spoke the next words slowly, with passion.

"Isabella, you are my whole being, my soul and my life. Just as the stars in the sky are aligned by fate, so is the love I have for you. I never want to be apart from you, and I want to love you, care for you, and spoil you always. You not only are my love, but you are my best friend. Please do me this honor and let me be your husband. I promise that I our souls will be one for all eternity." He held out a velvet box, that he swiftly flipped open, but I was only staring deep into his eyes.

I felt like I couldn't speak. I was in shock and mesmerized. Finally when I gained composure, I looked deep into his patient eyes.

"Yes Edward, I will be your wife," my voice a burning whisper. "and I will love you and cherish you for all eternity. You are the air I breathe; you make me whole. You are _my_ best friend, and since I have found you, I have found my soul."

He jumped up and hugged me, and I heard screams and cheers coming from the house. I instantly blushed and looked down at the gorgeous ring Edward had slid on my finger. It had a beautiful solitary diamond in the middle with two amber stones on the side.

"The two amber stones represent our souls and the diamond represents them coming together as one forever – never breakable." He explained.

"Oh, beautiful cannot even describe it Edward. Thank you so much," I leaned in and gave him an impassioned kiss.

Suddenly all the family was around us. Carlisle handed me a glass and began to make a toast.

"Edward has existed for over a century and has finally found his other half. We are so happy for you to join this family. Drink for us to celebrate this momentus event!" He smiled.

I had never tasted champagne before. It was absolutely delicious as the tingly bubbles slid gracefully down my throat.

"Is it good?" Rosalie asked – and I could see the yearning on her face to be able to try it herself.

"It is supposed to be real good stuff. Top notch!" Emmett winked at me.

"It is amazing." And I tried to describe the taste in intricate detail so they could understand. But I knew my rendering did not due it justice.

"Okay, well let's let Bella get some sleep now. She does have a full day of school right tomorrow, and with this being her first time as a Senior – she is going to need all the help she can get.." Edward mused.

"Very funny…" and I narrowed my eyes to give him the most menacing scowl I could muster.

"Wicked," Jasper laughed. "When you turn her, she just might be able to out scowl Rose!" And everyone started laughing.

As we lay in bed, our minds both wrapped up in thoughts about the future, I couldn't help but ask, "So, does this mean I still have to wait until after graduation?"


	7. Chapter 7

**AN – Thank you so much to my reviewers – your comments have really helped me continue to write. **

**To Lilybilly: I know my writing is a bit flat and dry in areas – If a beta can help with that, then that would be great – but I don't know what a beta really is or where to get one?...**

**I hope you all like this chapter. Please review…..please be nice. :o)**

**Next chapter will be posted on Friday so I can try and get the weekend crowed involved …and I love reviews!!!**

BPOV

I don't know how long I waited to hear a response from Edward before I fell into a tranquil sleep. He was gently caressing my back and humming his lullaby, and I was putty in his hands. I assumed the silence meant that he still wanted to wait until graduation to change me. I don't know why though – I probably was not going to even be able to graduate with how behind I was in grades and school work. But, before I had a chance to argue that point, I was fast asleep.

I decided not to bring it up again when I awoke in the morning. Edward knew the question was on my mind, and either way it would happen after graduation, so I let it go for now. As I got ready for school that morning, I had a whole nest of butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. I hated being the center of attention and I was not looking forward to the judgmental stares that awaited me from my classmates and teachers. I let my muscles relax in the heat of the shower and took my time with straightening my hair, trying to use some of the products that Alice had bought me. I took one look at the huge container of designer make-up and decided I wouldn't even attempt to experiment – I would have enough attention without looking like a clown.

With my towel wrapped around me, I stepped into the enormous walk in closet. I reveled in the choices of designer clothing I had at my fingertips. It was a feeling that I was not used to, and to my surprise it felt good. Alice and Rosalie had done a great job filling my closet with just about every article of clothing imaginable. I was a bit thankful that they stuck with my style, and nothing too couture. I knew today I would be getting a lot of stares and I didn't want to attract more by looking like I just stepped off a runway in Paris. I decided on a simple pair of blue jeans that were low cut and fitted, flaring slightly at the end, and a black tank top that had a little skull and bones in the corner made from jewels, which fit me like a glove.

The car ride to school with Alice and Edward was quiet. Too quiet. Edward was driving – of course and Alice was sitting in the back. I could tell Edward and Alice were caught up in a silent conversation trying to remain inconspicuous, but I always paid an obsessive amount of attention to his beautiful face that I noticed the slight movement of his eyes – flickering up or to the right. That did not sit well with me.

"uuuhhhmmmm." I loudly cleared my throat.

In an instant, two of the most beautiful, liquid gold eyes turned to look at me. Edward's all too innocent expression confirmed my suspicion.

"I know what you two are doing. Would you care to fill me in?" At the moment the words came out of my mouth, we were pulling into the school parking lot, right next to Carlisle's Mercedes. Carlisle's Mercedes? What is he doing here?

I hurriedly got out of the car, not waiting to hear a response from Edward - immediately wondering what was wrong this time. As I turned to ask Edward what his dad was doing at the school, I instantly saw Carlisle briskly walking towards us from the front office. He chuckled at the bewilderment on my face, but also had a deep look of concern behind his eyes.

"Edward. Alice." They nodded back in a response hello. They did not seem surprised at all to see Carlisle. Why didn't anyone fill me in on what was going on?

"Good Morning Bella." I couldn't help but smile warily at the smoothness of Carlisle's voice. But I could not shake the feeling that I was not going to like what he had to say.

"Hi Carlisle… what are you doing here?" I asked hesitantly.

Edward came next to me and squeezed my hand, which only heightened my concern that I was not going to enjoy this conversation.

"Well, I wanted to talk to your teachers and make sure you were going to be okay to graduate on time. They all understand the circumstances that you have been under this semester and with the recent passing of your father…"

"Carlisle, I don't want anyone's pity." I interrupted sounding a bit more harshly than I should. But Carlisle did not look surprised, just patient and understanding. Edward was gently rubbing soft circles on the back of my hand. I could feel blood rush to my face and my eyes start to water, an unfortunate trait that I inherited when I was mad.

"Please don't be upset Bella, but you were not going to be allowed to graduate without my interference." Carlisle's voice was extremely soft and persuasive. He shot a quick glance up to Edward and then continued, "The school had called last week and wanted me to have you drop all your classes and re-enroll you next fall to repeat this semester. I was not going to let that happen to you."

"Oh, wow, I am that behind!" My voice was barely a stunned whisper.

Carlisle took a step forward and put his hand on the side of my face, in a very fatherly way.

"Don't worry now Bella… it is all taken care of. The assignments you missed due to your recent absences have all been excused. You do need to make up some missed tests, and you do need to complete final projects, but I am sure that will be no problem for you." And he looked up winking at Edward. We all knew that the work I would need to complete would be impossible to finish within one week, which was when final grades were due, without the help of Edward and Alice.

"Thanks Carlisle, I really appreciate everything you… you all… have done for me." And before I could stop it tears betrayed my flushed cheeks. I was then enveloped in a hug from all angles as Carlisle, Alice, and Edward gently embraced me.

Later that day I found out what Edward and Alice had been silently discussing in our car ride to school that morning. They were talking about the fact that if Carlisle could not convince the school to let me graduate then they would up the date to my changing. They had been listing all the details that would need to be accomplished in order for this to happen. I really had no idea there was so much involved to turn me into a vampire.

Two Weeks Later (Graduation Day)

EPOV

As I was watching my beautiful angel sleep, I felt a twinge of sadness flow through me knowing this was her last sleep. The two weeks leading up to today had been extremely difficult for Bella. Not only did she have to deal with the disapproving glares from her teachers and the asinine gossip from the students, but she also had to work extra hard catching up on all her work. Alice and I offered help several times, but she insisted on doing it all on her own. Except the Calculus final – she let me help her study for that. Little did she know though that I had stolen a copy of the final from the teacher already and gave her every question as a review. The day of the test, when she walked out of class, she was glaring at me, but had a devilish grin on her face. Instead of scolding me like I thought, she actually said thank you because she knew she wouldn't have been able to pass otherwise.

We, the family and I, had also been taking turns talking to Bella about what it was like to be a vampire. Carlisle thought it would be best to prepare her as much as possible. We all agreed, wishing we had had the same opportunity – it would have made the transformation all that much easier.

We all shared our experiences of being turned at different times. She loved hearing Emmett's story – his was the funniest out of all of ours because he kept calling Carlisle God. We each discussed in detail the bloodlust and anger she would experience as a newborn in the first couple of weeks. We eased her fears that it was something to be expected and it was completely understandable as we all went through it. Everyone also shared the changes they felt physically and mentally and what she should expect.

Carlisle and Esme shared with Bella all the technicalities. They explained how we were going to fake her death – which was set up for tomorrow. They also showed her the forged documents created for her – including her death certificate, and of course she made a joke of that. _Wow, I can't believe I'm already dead...nothing feels different_, she had mused. They also explained the credit cards she had access to though she insisted on not knowing how much money she actually could spend. They also discussed that for at least the first year she could not go out in public without someone from the family, until she perfected lying.

Emmett and Jasper shared with Bella the thrill of the hunt and what it felt like to be overcome by your senses. The guilt experienced after your first kill. Bella insisted that she would never hunt humans, but we all doubted that considering Carlisle was the only one in our coven that had been able to maintain that self control his whole existence. Bella had not really enjoyed that conversation but it was necessary. She couldn't imagine herself actually enjoying the smell of blood, but we all assured her she would.

Rosalie and Alice explained all the heightened sensations and awareness she would have such as sights, sounds, touches, and covering in detail, to much of Bella's embarrassment, our upcoming wedding night. Love between vampires was a bit different than love between humans - more passionate and more sensual. When she walked away from that talk, she had fear written all over her face. I silently laughed at the fact that out of everything, the talk of intimacy had sparked fear in her. Her expression had been priceless. I eased her fears reiterating the fact that it would be my first time too and that we would take it slow as we could and that I would try to be extremely gentle. She looked up at me thankfully with a nervous laugh.

And I talked with her in vivid detail about what was going to happen when I bit her and how it was going to happen. But, of course she didn't seem phased. She took everything in so unnaturally cool. The only thing, besides the talk with Rosalie and Alice that she was worried about, was my reaction. She had the idiotic concern that I would not love her the same because she would not have all the human qualities that I was obsessed with such as her rhythmic heart beat, the siren call of her blood, and her blushing cheeks. I assured her that I loved who she was, not what she was. But she still was hesitant, and then one day after talking with Carlisle about it, she brightened up. I hadn't the faintest idea what Carlisle said to her, he was very careful about his thoughts on whatever they had discussed. When I asked him, he laughed and said that Bella was extremely creative and I would find out soon enough.

As my sleeping beauty began to open sleepy eyes, I could see the excitement glowing already and I could not help but frown.

"Aw come on, Edward. Aren't you even the littlest bit happy about today? I mean, no more worrying about my dying on you or growing old – we are going to be able to spend the rest of our existence together!!!" She was nearly squealing and she bounced up and down on the bed. But her face became instantly somber as she took in my expression.

"Don't you want this…" she whispered. And I could see tears starting to form in her almond brown eyes.

Of course I did! I yearned just as much as she did for the feel of our skin so close with no inhibitions or worry that I could break her. I reveled, with more joy than I have ever felt, in the fact that I would be able to spend all eternity with the love of my life, the one thing that made my existence meaningful. Of course I wanted this….that wasn't it at all. That wasn't what had my un-beating heart sinking sickenly to the pit of my stomach. I shuddered to think that this time tomorrow, Bella would be in unbearable pain that I could not help her with.

"My beautiful angel," I spoke soothingly and I held her soft, warm face gently in my hands. "How can you question that? It just makes me sick beyond no end to know the pain you are about to go through." I looked deep into her eyes.

"Such a small price to pay for such a great reward." She softly replied, her eyes glistening.

"It is going to be pure hell. You are going to wish to die. I am not worth this." I pleaded with her hoping slightly she might change her mind.

"Edward Cullen," She roughly grabbed my face. "You never talk this way, _ever_." She was nearly growling. "I will never regret this, do you hear me.

She was still holding my face tightly in her hands and shaking ever so slightly.

"We need to make a pact, right here, right now… no regrets – _ever_. That is the one thing I will not be able to live with. I could not bear it if you ever regretted changing me, as I am sure you could not bear it if I regretted it – so let's make this pact now." The sincere, pleading look in her face as she said these words sent my heart tumbling down into the pits of my stomach.

"Shall we seal it with a kiss," I mused. She was so adorable when she was serious about something.

"Edward, please take this seriously." But she leaned in and our lips pressed together with such passion and intensity, she would no longer be able to doubt my sincerity.

BPOV

As I was pulled passionately into a kiss I will never forget, sealing a pact that would be unbreakable for all eternity, there was a slight knock on the door.

"Oooohhhh Beeeelllllaaaa…." I heard Alice giggle.

_Oh no!_ I thought.

"Oh yes, Bella" Rosalie's silky voice read my mind. "We are here to give you one last makeover for graduation. Trust me - you will thank us when we are done."

I looked at Edward reluctantly.

"You better go answer the door before they break it down." He laughed.

"uhggggg…" I groaned, but I got up and trudged to the door in a defeated manner. Making sure to properly stomp my feet.

"It is way too early in the morning for this" I moaned even though it was almost noon. But I could only see gleaming, flashy teeth smiling towards me.

Rosalie and Alice rushed in across the threshold, both grabbing an arm and whirled me into my enormous bathroom.

Edward was grinning like a fool, came forward to kiss me on the lips, and disappeared.

I actually did not fight Alice and Rosalie much during this makeover. I knew it would be the last time they would be able to have fun like this with me. They took their time, helping me bathe in luxurious oils, washing my hair in designer suds, doing my nails with the utmost perfection… By the time they were done, they both seemed extremely pleased with their work. As I turned to look in the mirror, I was in shock yet again at the woman who stood in front of me. They curled my hair into luscious locks that flowed smoothly down my back, my makeup was subtle but made my skin flawless and pulled emphasis towards my lips and eyes, the dress was a simple white knee length halter that tied with a beautiful blood red sating sash around the neck and back. The only concern I had were the shoes. They were cute I must admit, but looked like death traps - crimson stiletto heels that tied up my ankle.

The ceremony went by in a blur. I remember walking up to the stage, praying I would not trip, shaking the principal's hand, and looking out in the crowd to see the Cullen's cheering excitedly and Esme obsessively flashing the camera, with Carlisle recording every moment on video. I vaguely wondered if this was the normal behavior for all their graduations or if they were just hyping it up for me. I guessed the latter was correct when they reacted the same way for Alice and Edward's walk to the stage.

After the ceremony, everything was a mess. It was so hard to get through the crowd and find Edward. I searched frantically for some sign of him or any of the other Cullen's and then I realized it was probably smarter for me to stay in one place. Finally, I felt a pair of cool hands wrap around me from behind, and my heart stumbled. Edward spun me around and his lips claimed mine passionately. As we pulled away, I was absolutely breathless and my world seemed to be spinning. Then suddenly I was bombarded with several embraces and by the coolness and hardness of their touches I knew it was Edward's family.

"Congratulations Bella!" Esme looked like she would be crying if she could.

"We are really proud of you!" Carlisle gave me a warm smile.

"And we got it all on tape!" Emmett boasted.

I was blushing uncontrollably and everyone just laughed.

"So, can we go home and get this started!" I said eagerly.

At once everyone's faces grew somber.

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

"So eager for eternally damnation." I heard Edward mutter.

I gave him a dark glare. "You aren't backing out are you?" My voice was in a panic, and I could tell my heart was thumping a mile a minute. I turned to look frantically at Carlisle.

He met my anxious gaze with a warm smile. "Of course not Bella. Please don't mistaken our impressions. We are absolutely thrilled with the thought of you officially joining us. But, the next few days will be anything from pleasant for you, and we cannot help but mourn for you."

"Awww, I'll be fine." I said with a smile, but looking at their faces made me suddenly nervous. "So what are we waiting for?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you so much for the reviews – you all are awesome!!! Please leave comments about this chapter – I am so nervous for everyone to read it. Please let me know if you like it… Sorry I posted a bit late…. :o)**

"Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" Edward's voice was filled with agony and the hint of regret. Regret for what was to come. Regret for all the emotional pain I had been battling. Regret for the physical pain that was about to be unleashed on me.

It was twilight again, and I could see the beautiful hue of fire hitting the sky like a blanket, and I knew everything would be different after tonight.

"We love you Bella, but if you want to change your mind, we will all understand. But, I do think this is the best way, the only way." Carlisle murmured and squeezed my shoulder.

I felt instantly at ease to know that Carlisle supported this decision. And I could feel a bit of Edward's tension release too. I knew he respected every decision and word that Carlisle spoke.

"I am going to check on things…and when I call on you, we must begin." Carlisle was speaking out loud only for my benefit.

"Thank you, Father" Edward's voice rang with sincerity, not just for what was about to occur but for everything that had happened since Edward laid eyes on me.

"I am ready." I took a deep breath, but I spoke the words with great conviction. I was trying to convince myself as much as Edward. I could feel tears swell up in my eyes and I fought to keep them back. I did not want Edward to know the pain and fear I felt. But he instantly knew.

"Bella, no, I can't do this." He winced. How I hated to see him in pain.

I was amazed at how well the Cullen's could fake a death… but I guess they probably have had to do it before. Esme and Rosalie were to set up the car crash first thing in the morning, and Carlisle was going to pronounce me dead – with a valid death certificate and everything. There was no going back – not now.

"Edward it will be ok. I promise – forever – no regrets, right?" And I smiled at him through my tears, flashing the ring he had given me - the ring that solidified our commitment to each other.

We had spent endless hours on this topic and finally came to an agreement. We really had no choice. He had chosen to spend the rest of my life with me and I the same. I reached up to touch his cold chiseled face.

"Yes, forever." And his eyes warmed with determination.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close. Then, ever so slowly, he moved his head down to my chest and listened to my heartbeat.

"Ahhhh," he sighed. "This I will miss." And then his eyes met mine and I knew he could read the pain in them.

His face went instantly chagrin. "I – oh Bella – I didn't mean…" he stumbled over his words. That was my greatest fear – that he would miss all my human traits – no more "blushing scarlet" or hearing my heart stutter uncontrollably with his touch… and he knew that. But, Carlisle and I had thought of a wonderful plan so he could still remember the smell of my blood. It was a surprise that I couldn't wait to share with Edward.

"The tub is ready!" Alice interrupted and barreled into the room with excitement. I was sitting on our couch in the cottage and Edward was holding me close to him. She could read the pain on both our faces. "You will be fine Bella! Only a couple of days of pain, and then an eternity of love." She leaned down and kissed both my cheeks.

I truly loved Alice. She was my sister – vampire or not. And I truly loved all of them. Even Rosalie. I couldn't wait to be apart of their family, apart of Edward forever.

"Carlisle is calling for us. Let's go." Edward held me as he stood up.

I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. It had taken only a few weeks to get all the necessary elements prepared, including my phony death and funeral. They had turned their basement into the "holding chamber" for me. Edward assured me it would be very comfortable (as comfortable as possible) for my situation and sound proof. That really freaked me out. Apparently, when Rosalie changed, they could barely contain her bloodcurdling screams within the confines of the house walls, so they were more than prepared this time.

As we made our way down the spiraling staircase towards the basement, I couldn't help but reminisce about my childhood and the events that had unfolded in my life the past two years. I shuddered at the thought of out most recent trip to Italy, and looked forward to not having to worry about the Volturri. I was also looking forward to hopefully forgetting the past events of my father's death. Everyone had told me that my human memories would fade over time, but Esme told me that traumatic one's stayed. She remembered in detail her son's death and the pain she felt. I doubt I could ever forget my pain, but it was a hope that I held on to.

Alice had disappeared down the stairs, but halfway down Edward stopped me. He pulled me close against his body and pushed me up against the wall. He breathed slowly down my neck, and I started to tremble.

"I am going to take five bites. One here…," and he kissed the crease in the right side of my neck and shoulder. "…One here and here," and he kissed the insides of both my wrists and held them tightly. "And one here…" he wrapped his foot around my left ankle, "and finally one here…" he concluded, wrapping his other foot around my right ankle. I could not move, even if I wanted to. He had me bound against the wall and his body. I was no longer feeling scared, but had an electrifying desire throughout my body. I wanted him right then, his tantalizing body. I leaned in and kissed him with a passion. He did not hold back either.

"Ready?" he asked feeling my sudden sense of excitement.

"I really can't wait until all these physical boundaries are gone." I gasped. To my embarrassment, I had said my thoughts out loud. I could feel all the blood rushing to my face. Edward just looked at me and smiled – probably committing my blushing to memory.

So we continued our journey down the stairs – our journey towards my destiny. As we walked through the basement doors, I immediately froze.

I thought I was in a mental ward. There was white cushioned padding on the floor and walls. But as I continued my assessment, I noticed there was a beautiful bed laid into the floor – I guess so I wouldn't roll off of it. It was adorned with fluffy soft pillows, but no blankets – just a sheet that looked like silk laid over the overstuffed featherbed on top of the mattress. There were also iron shackles with cushion on the inside, attached to the ground along the bed. I flinched when I saw those and Edward noticed.

"They are for when you wake up with all your strength. It is just a precaution." He whispered into my ear. Everyone had already explained to me about how many newborn vampires are viciously angry when they come out of their torturous state, and so blinded with bloodlust that they go after anything around them until they get their first feeding. And how newborns are so strong, he didn't want me to feel remorse if I had hurt anyone.

Then I saw the tub – filled to the top with ice. And in the corner of the room an endless supply of ice was piled. I vaguely wondered how they were going to keep it from melting and then suddenly I noticed that I was freezing and shaking uncontrollably. It was so cold in the room that I thought I was literally in a walk in freezer. I could see my breath as my breathing increased erratically. I was panicking.

"You will appreciate the cold soon. You won't start to feel the pain for a few minutes, and then it will all rush in. It is better this way Bella…to have all the pain at once for only two days, then to have it slowly seep through you for three days." Carlisle reminded me.

This had been a topic of great debate as well. Edward had agreed with Carlisle, but Rosalie and Emmett could not imagine the pain being more unbearable then what they went through during their three day transformations. But, I had decided two days was best. I wanted it to be as quick as possible, but I winced at the thought of the pain remembering how I had felt when James bit me in Phoenix. And that was just in my hand. The way Edward had planned on biting; the pain would be all over my body at once. _The more venom in the blood, the quicker it gets to the heart, the faster the body can heal itself._ I remembered Edward telling me.

Now was the time. Everyone was suddenly there.

Esme came up to me first and gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Everything will be fine, I promise." She held my face in her hand with the sincerity of a mother and disappeared.

Emmett was next picking me up in a huge bear hug. "I hope you do not lose your clumsiness, because it sure makes me laugh. Oh and when Carlisle comes to check on you, try not to call him God!" With a chuckle, he disappeared.

Then Rosalie was right in front of me. I am sure she could see the shock on my face because she smiled amiably. "Good luck my sister; we will be here when you wake." She kissed me on the cheek and disappeared.

I felt amazingly relaxed and of course knew Jasper was next. I gave him a skeptical look, and he hugged me and said, "When you are going through the pain, think of Edward, he is your soul. I feel your love for him, and it is none I have ever felt before." He looked at me with such depth my heart sank.

Then Alice was by his side, "Except for ours!" she added teasingly. "Of course" he smiled in reply. "Don't focus on the pain too much Bella, it will be over soon. I see that everything will be fine. Trust that; trust me." Alice leaned down kissing both my cheeks, hugging me.

And with that they were gone leaving only Edward and Carlisle with me.

Carlisle approached me slowly, and held my hands in his. "I am so glad you are joining our family. You have completed everything I have searched for." Then he leaned down and gently kissed my wrists.

Carlisle then turned to Edward. "I will be right outside. Call me when the bites have been made." He smiled and disappeared, subtly closing the door behind him.

"No matter what I say or how much pain I am in, please don't feel guilty or bad. This was my choice as much, if not more, than anyone else's. If you need to leave, I won't be ma-" I was interrupted.

"Your pain will be my pain." And that was all he had to say. He picked me up gently in his arms and carried me over to the bed in the floor. It was so cold, but so soft. I had only been wearing little tight PJ shorts and a little cami, and I was wishing I had worn jeans and a sweatshirt. But Edward had convinced me that the less I wore the better, the easier it would be. And he was such a gentleman when I came out in nothing more than my shorts and top, he kept his eyes on my eyes, though I know when I looked away he would glance at my nearly clad body - the first time seeing me so bare.

He held me in his arms for an immeasurable amount of time. I was almost relaxed when he leaned in kissing me passionately. Forgetting all boundaries I knotted my fingers into his hair pulling him close to me, kissing him tensely. I felt every inch of his body lined up with mine. Then my lips parted and for the first time his did too, and we let each other's tongues explore new territory. His mouth was so cold but surprisingly sweetly soft, and I wanted to drink every bit of him. I could tell he barely could contain his hunger too for he leaned down breathing heavily on my neck.

This is it, I thought as my heart pounded violently through my chest.

I could feel his cold, glass lips gently but passionately kissing all around my neck. I was literally tingling from head to toe. Then with one heavy breath, he opened his mouth and I could feel his razor sharp teeth puncture the muscle between my neck and shoulder. I gasped in pain and instinctively went to push him away, but he only clenched his teeth deeper and held me tight – letting the venom soak in. Then with a brief kiss to my neck he pulled my wrists up to his mouth. I could feel my mind start to go numb as if I was slipping out of consciousness. Each time he bit down, it felt as if I was slicing my wrists with a knife. I tried to hold in the screams, knowing it would make it that much harder for him, but I just couldn't. He held me tight. I could feel tears streaming down my eyes, and he quickly kissed both my eyelids drinking in the tears. Then he was no longer next to me, but down by my feet. Almost done, I thought… but this would only be the beginning. I felt his cold hands grip my ankles and then I felt him sink his teeth into my Achilles tendon of my right foot, and I screamed in pain. I knew this part would hurt the most out of all the punctures. I tried uncontrollably, kicking him off me, but he only wrapped his arms around my legs in his steal grasp. I didn't want to fight him, but I couldn't help it. Then one last bite to my left tendon, and I thought I was going to die right then. He held on through my thrashing to let the venom finish seeping in and then he was up by my face, staring into my eyes.

"Carlisle." His voice sounded so strained. But, his eyes were excited. I watched them ease into a sense of regret and sorrow. I reached for his face, and he kissed my palm.

In an instant Carlisle was next to him. I hadn't started to feel the pain yet, and Carlisle checked out my wounds. I was gasping for air, and I could tell I was going into shock, shaking uncontrollably. Edward's eyes were suddenly filled with concern. Carlisle put his hand on Edward, and I saw the tension release.

"Good son. You have done very well. Now we wait." And as the last words lingered off of Carlisle's tongue, I felt the fire begin.

All five puncture wounds heated up in an instant. I could feel my heart slowly pumping blood through my body, and with each pump, there came a slow surge of pain. No, pain can't describe what I felt. It was pure hell - hell in my veins, my blood, my muscles, my bones. Fire was literally scorching me from the inside out. I screamed out in agony, and I could feel my body trembling.

Edward sat next to me, holding me, soothing my face. He did not talk, and I was unsure if it was because he knew his words would be a pointless effort to soothe me or because he just couldn't.

I began to fight and thrash and I heard Carlisle tell him to let me go, that it would be better if I moved around. I writhed in pain and then I tried rolling to any new part of the ground that was cool to my skin. Nothing eased the insufferable anguish. I curled up into a little ball in the corner of the room, trying to squeeze out all the pain.

When the torture seemed unbearable – when the venom had seeped through every part of my body and my skin was broiled, Edward finally spoke. It seemed like an eternity since I had heard his voice, but I knew it probably had only been a couple of hours. I knew he had stayed with me every second – _my pain was his pain._

"Bella?" His voice was honey.

I tried to open my eyes to look at him, but they were on fire.

"Shhhh…." He calmed my screaming. "I am going to move you to the tub; it will help."

And with that I felt his arms wrap around me, and I screamed my most horrific scream. His touch was so painful. It was like my skin had blisters all over and his fingers were popping them one by one. I felt him gently place me on top of the ice and slowly scoop more in. At first the pain was worse and I tried to fight my way out of the tub. I felt another cool set of hands on me, and I knew it was Carlisle pushing me down.

"Bella, I promise this will help, stay still, please" my angel begged, sobbing tearlessly.

And he was right. Although it did not make the pain go away, it helped a little. It kept the fire inside only, instead of blistering out of my skin.

I stayed in the tub an immeasurable amount of time, thrashing about. I could tell I was crying and screaming, but I couldn't hear my own voice – it was like everything was on mute. All the while Edward stayed at my side. Sometimes he would soothe me with his lullaby, other times he whispered encouraging words in my ears, and other times I felt him silently crying. I wanted to tell him everything would be ok, but every second I wondered how much longer I would be in misery.

Then suddenly, although I was still suffering the fire burning through me, the confines of the tab shattered open. I felt Edward grab me, and to my surprise, I fought him off. I couldn't take the pain any longer. I had to get out of here. I opened my eyes, and everything was red. I was so angry and I felt a pooling of rage in my stomach and a straining sensation in the back of my throat. I ran around the room trying to find a way out, and then I felt Edwards iron grip around me.

"Bella, no, Bella! You are not completely healed yet. You need to stay here!" His voice growled with anguish.

"No!" I screamed back, forcefully breaking his grip. My throat stung with fire as the words came out of my mouth. But, to my surprise they felt extremely powerful. I was still in so much pain, but getting angry seemed to help. It seemed to move the fire along in waves, rather than a constant force.

As I fought with Edward, Carlisle and Emmett came in and rushed at me. They were all forcing me down.

"No!" My voice was saturated with hate. "Let go of me!" I tore at them with my hands and feet. I could feel the power behind my movements and it was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

And then I heard the shackles clamped down on my wrists and ankles.

The pressure created a new surge of pain rushing through my body, but I didn't scream, I growled. I could feel it growing in my chest and immerging through my throat. It was menacing, and I liked it. I could hear Carlisle calming Edward telling him this was a normal reaction - that I was coming to the end of the transformation.

When is this pain going to end? I wondered hopelessly to myself. I wanted deep inside to kill someone or something. I fought against the iron clamps holding me down – twisting and turning with such force. I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to scream out, but I had no more voice. Then everything went black.


	9. Chapter 9

EPOV

"No matter what I say or how much pain I am in, please don't feel guilty or bad. This was my choice as much, if not more, than anyone else's. If you need to leave, I won't be ma-" I interrupted Bella; it was endearing how she always thought of everyone but herself.

"Your pain will be my pain." I assured her – although I am not sure if it offered her much assurance. I know she was embarrassed for me to be with her during her three days of pain. But, I wanted to be there. I needed to be there. I had to be there.

Within one of her tattooing heart beats, I had her swept up into my arms and on the bed that laid into the ground. This bed was Rosalie's idea, because she remembered how hard it was to keep Emmett on his bed. He had kept rolling off so eventually they just put pillows on the ground for him to make it as comfortable as possible. Bella had a real advantage in this situation because we were able to prepare her and a room for her. No one else had that luxury, if you could call it that.

As I set Bella on the bed, I inconspicuously noticed her little outfit that Alice suggested she wear. It was a bit pointless because every one of us had ended up naked by the end of our transformation having torn off our clothes unintentionally trying to fight the burning. This bothered Bella extremely. I tried to comfort her by telling her that she was going to be my wife, and it would be reasonably okay and proper for me to see her naked. I don't think I ever saw her face a darker red.

At any rate, Alice thought of the solution of an extremely little tank top with even littler shorts. Although it left Bella almost bare, it was better than nothing in her mind. I couldn't help but gaze at her soft body, and I vaguely wondered the physical changes that would become of her in the next two days. How could you improve perfection?

I felt her shiver as I held her closely on the bed, and within seconds her body was prickled with goose bumps. I continued to hold her until the thudding of her erratic heart beat calmed into a rhythmic pump. I new she was nervous. How could she not be? How anyone could choose this transformation willingly was beyond me. But, if I were in Bella's situation, I know I would choose the same.

When I could feel she was as relaxed as she would probably get, I knew it was time to get started. I couldn't put this off any longer. I wanted to make this as comfortable as possible - at least the initial bite. I had heard that in times of passion the bite is not as painful, but almost pleasurable. So, I leaned in and began to kiss Bella fervently. I did not hold back because the fear of my teeth cutting her tongue was a moot point now.

I squeezed my body into her soft form, trying to touch every inch of her. Our kiss turned tense as she wrapped her arms around my neck and began to clutch my hair. For the first time, I parted my lips and we breathed into each other. It was an amazing sensation as I slipped my tongue into her mouth - so warm and soft and delicious. I could drink from her right then but not from hunger but from lust. Reluctantly I pulled out of her mouth and panted along her neck.

This is it, I thought as her heart was pounding against her chest.

I hesitated for a moment, placing gentle kisses all around her neck. As if it would help in someway to ease the forthcoming pain. When I could feel her bodily excitement coming, I knew this was the time.

With a deep sigh, I opened my mouth and as gently as possible, slid my teeth into her skin and muscle in the crease of her neck. She gasped and I am not sure if my idea to make this pleasurable in anyway was valid. She ineffectually tried to push me off, but I needed to let the venom soak into her, so I held her tightly. I knew this was a normal reaction. But, she held back her scream. She did not need to do that.

As I was holding onto her neck, I resisted sucking in her sweet essence. Only my love for her could make this possible. Carlisle had warned me not to take too much blood, as it would make her transition harder. The more blood left in her system, the quicker the venom could spread. As these thoughts rushed in my mind, I let go of her neck. I kissed it gently as if to amend for the bite.

I grabbed her wrists and could see that she was starting to go into shock. That was good. I did not want her to be coherent for this. Maybe a sense of delirium would help ease the pain.

I bit into her left wrist and again she struggled against me. As I punctured her right wrist, she could no longer contain her screams. As she cried out in agony of the bite, I held her tighter. I could smell fresh tears beginning to stain her face. Before I moved to her ankles, I gently kissed both her eyelids, sucking in her tears.

Then I quickly moved to her feet. This was going to be the most painful part for her because the area is very sensitive. I quickly bit down into the back of her right ankle, and she immediately tried to kick me off, violently thrashing around. I grabbed her delicate legs in a strong hold and bit the other ankle. The bloodcurdling scream that escaped her lips at that moment will be embedded in my mind forever. She struggled pointlessly against my grasped, but it excited me. I need to calm down.

I quickly went to look into her beautiful brown eyes, and all I could see in them was love. The excitement that was going to overwhelm me seconds before was gone, and I deeply gazed into her eyes willing her to feel all the love I had for her in that moment.

"Carlisle" my throat was tight and strained with hunger. I knew the burning was going to start any minute and reality hit me at that moment. How could I have done this willingly to someone I loved?

Carlisle leaned over Bella, checking all her wounds. _Wow, what self control you have shown son. You barely took any blood from her. _His thoughts came through, but I couldn't respond. At that moment I noticed Bella violently shaking from head to toe and her breath was coming in short pants.

Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder and I felt instantly calmed. "Good son. You have done very well. Now we wait." As he spoke these words, I looked down and saw the pain in Bella's eyes. The burning and torment was just beginning.

_If you want to leave for a bit, I can stay with her._ Carlisle's eyes looked at me with deep concern. What! He was crazy to think I was going to leave Bella at all during this time. I made that point as I took a seat next to my angel. All I could do was sit and hold Bella, soothing her pain as I gently caressed her face. I could speak no words that would try and ease her ache, so I didn't try. I don't know if I could if I had to. One word and I felt like I might break.

I was so selfish to be thinking of myself at a time like this. Hours passed and Carlisle was still by my side. I looked down at Bella, and could tell the venom was quickly spreading throughout her body. She began to push out of my grasp and kick around, but I held onto her tightly.

"Let her go Edward. This room is safe. She cannot hurt herself. Let her roll around and try to soothe the ache in her skin." Carlisle instructed.

I gave him a nod and released my iron grip that held Bella against my body. She immediately started rolling around the room to cool her skin. But she could not stay in one place. Nothing seemed to cool the fire. After a while, she curled up into a little ball in the corner of the room. Pulling her knees to her chest, she sat there crying in agony. I went over and sat with her, hoping that my presence was helping but knowing it wasn't.

I put my face in my hands and started sobbing. It was killing me to see her in so much agony and not being able to ease her torture.

_She is such a strong little thing. This is what she wanted Edward. She is so brave and was so determined. This was inevitable you know. _Carlisle's thoughts came to me as he disappeared through the door.

I sat next to Bella for hours, allowing her to curl up in a ball, watching her trying to squeeze out the pain. I could not touch her, as I knew it would feel horrible for her on her burning skin. I remember the searing pain of my skin, which was why I had torn off all my clothes during my transformation. It had felt like it was blistering off.

About fifteen hours had passed. Time was going so slow. Bella was still tensed in her little ball and I noticed her nails were digging into her skin, slowly drawing blood. It was time to move her to the tub.

"Carlisle" I spoke as I opened the basement door. I needed to move her to the tub, and I was not sure if she had new strength yet, so I called Carlisle for help.

"Bella?" I purred her name.

She unraveled from her ball and turned to my voice. She started screaming uncontrollably as she tried to open her eyes. Her voice was a raspy burn escaping her lips.

"Shhhh…." I spoke gently trying to soothe her. "I am going to move you to the tub; it will help."

As I bent down to pick her up, Carlisle's voice rang out in my thoughts. _Careful Edward. _

I tried to be as gentle as I could, holding her away from me. Only touching what I had to. She screamed as my light grip tortured her skin. I eased her on top of the ice in the tub and began quickly scooping more in. Bella was not having that. She tried to climb out and was kicking and pushing the ice off of her. I was unsuccessfully trying to hold her down and scoop in ice at the same time.

_She is going to be very strong._ Carlisle confirmed exactly what I was thinking. It had been a short amount of hours and already she had the strength of a newborn vampire.

Carlisle's strong hands pushed her down with me. She struggled with force against us. I could not stay strong any more. If I was human, I would be crying.

"Bella, I promise this will help, stay still, please" I begged, sobbing tearlessly.

In that moment, she calmed. Although she was violently shaking, she was not trying to escape the tub.

As the hours passed, I sat with Bella continuing to scoop ice onto her and trying to ease her pain in some way. She was moving around uncontrollably and I knew she was lost in delirium. I hoped that my futile attempts to make this easier on her would help in some way as I hummed my lullaby and whispered encouraging words into her ears. But I broke down too many times as I watched my helpless angel.

As time passed, all the members of my family came down at one point or another to check on her and me. Her voice was nothing but a raspy whisper as screams tried to violently escape her lips. She had destroyed her voice box, but we knew it would soon be healed again from her first drink.

First it was Esme. _How is she? How are you?_ Her thoughts were thick with concern.

"I will be fine. Please don't worry about me. I am not the one who is being tortured for Bella." I hung my head low and my chest began to heave with tearless sobs.

Esme wrapped her motherly arms around me, holding me - whispering calming words into my ear. She sat with me for a few hours, watching Bella.

Alice came down next. _Jasper left. He couldn't take it._

I nodded. Jasper's ability to feel emotions would make this difficult on him. The room might have been sound proof, but emotions spilled out of it. Not only was he feeling Bella's pain, but my agony as well.

"How long ago did he leave?"

_A little after you put her in the tub. _So that explains why it took me until Carlisle and I put her in the tub to break down.

_She is going to be so beautiful Edward, inside and out._

"She was always beautiful in my eyes."

_I know. _And Alice came up behind me and wrapped me in a cool strong grip.

Emmett and Rosalie came down next.

_Finally I can have a little sister to torment! _Emmett's booming laughter roared through my mind.

Rosalie came up and gently stroked Bella's hair.

_I know exactly how you feel Edward._ And it was true. Rosalie had changed Emmett for her, and now I was doing the same to Bella. Rosalie had held Emmett all through his transformation.

_How long has it been?_ Emmett sounded impatient.

"About forty hours." And I couldn't help but have a smile on my face. I sincerely felt excitement, but a bit of nervousness too. I knew her first few days would be difficult, and she would be out of control. But once Bella could control her new sense and instincts, we could begin our existence together.

Suddenly there was a loud groaning noise, like something was about to break.

"Oh no!" I heard Rosalie shout as the tub shattered into pieces around us.

I immediately grabbed Bella, but she easily pulled out of my grip. I stared, shocked for a moment. At that moment, Bella's eyes shot open for the first time in two days. They were a deep crimson color and I could see the rage in them. She looked frantically around the room panicking, trying to find an exit. She grabbed her neck and began roughly rubbing her throat. Then she took off running around the room.

_Here we go! _Emmett chuckled in his mind.

I grabbed her again, this time with a more forceful grip.

"Bella, no, Bella! You are not completely healed yet. You need to stay here!" I growled, hoping it would startle her and break her out of her rage.

I had no such luck.

"No!" she screamed back in a powerful, but stressed voice. Again she broke out of my grip. This time I was not surprised.

"Newborns can be so powerful, can't they?" Carlisle said as he rushed in the room. Emmett, Carlisle and I rushed towards Bella. She may be strong, but she would not be able to fight the three of us at once. When we got a good grip on her, she yelled for us to let her go and tore at us with her hands and feet. Her movements were as powerful as Emmett's could be. We quickly got her to the bed and clamped the shackles around her feet and ankles.

We knew the shackles would be creating more pain for her, but we did not have a choice. To our surprise she did not cry out, but menacingly growled.

_Well, she is going to be a handful…_ Carlisle whispered in my mind.

I fell to my knees putting my head in my hands. How could I have done this to something so sweet and innocent?

"Edward, you know this is a normal reaction. She will come out of her rage and be normal, happy-go-lucky Bella again. It will just be for the first few days. You out of anyone should know this."

I nodded watching her fight against the chains holding her down.

"The anger she feels is a good sign. This is marking the end of her transformation."

I got up instantly. I needed to be strong for Bella. At that moment, the pain seemed to win over her rage and she cried out in agony. Then her voice went out, eyes shut, and she collapsed onto the bed. I could no longer hear the beat of her heart and I knew her transformation was over. This was to be her last sleep.

**PLEASE REVIEW :o) THANK YOU !!!**


	10. Chapter 10

EPOV

I watched my angel as she peacefully slept, and I knew it would not take long until she awoke.

"We need to move her outside before she wakes." Carlisle spoke gently. "Rosalie and Alice rounded up some deer in the backyard. They are holding them for her first feeding. She will wake soon."

I nodded.

"Remember that this will be one of the most challenging parts. It won't always be this difficult. The first feeding is always rough because she will be completely governed by senses and will try to destroy anything in her way to ease the thirst. Then, when she comes back to reality, guilt and shame overcome and she will feel worse than anything." Carlisle did not need to speak these words, and I grew a bit frustrated at his feeling the need to do so.

"I _already_ know this" I hissed.

Carlisle came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "I know you know Edward. But you have not had to experience this with someone you love. I just want to make sure you are prepared. I know you want to protect her. You need to keep your anger in check and let us contain her if needed, which I know you will."

I smiled apologetically and nodded to show understanding. I felt at fault for snapping. Carlisle was right. And he was the leader of our coven, family. I respected him immensely and needed to do as he wished.

We undid the shackles that bound Bella down. I took a moment to assess her body changes. Bella was beautiful to begin with, but now she had muscle tone. I could see the fine lines of her tendons as her skin stretch across her new, toned frame. Her hair was thicker and fell in soft tendrils across her pale skin. Her lips were absolutely luscious. She was utterly breathtaking. I felt my breath hitch as my eyes traveled down her body to complete my assessment.

"Edward?" Carlisle called me.

I immediately was embarrassed and looked down to the ground mortified, as I realized where my eyes had been staring. Not only had Bella's aesthetic features enhanced, but so did her womanly curves. She filled out in her chest, and I had been staring like an uncontrollable, hormonal teenage boy.

"It's okay son. That is a perfectly normal reaction." Carlisle tried to assure me assuming the direction of my thoughts.

Emmett let out a husky chuckle and patted me on the back. "Welcome to the club." He laughed out.

I let out a low growl trying to ignore Emmett's tease.

I bent down to gently pick up Bella. As I held her in my arms, I noticed immediately the change in the feel of her skin. She was no longer hot when I touched her, nor soft. She was not cold and rock hard either. She just felt normal to me. No different than myself. I gently bent down and brushed my lips to hers.

Suddenly her body tensed in my arms, and her eyes flew upon filled with rage and ache for blood. I tightened my grip but she managed to jump away and run towards the open door.

Carlisle leaped forward and grabbed her foot. She instinctively kicked him in the face with her other foot sending him flying across the room leaving him imprinted in the basement wall, through the safety cushion. The whole house groaned and shook under the impact.

"Wow!" Emmett spoke the words all on our minds.

_The kick was not strong enough to throw me into the wall like this!_ I shot a concerned look at Carlisle after listening to the pattern of his thoughts.

_No, she couldn't be_, I thought to myself.

She stopped for a second and for a brief moment you could see confusion and sadness creep on her face for what she had just done. I knew she knew this was not right, but her senses overwhelmed her. Then her eyes turned death black and she leaped forward trying to make it out the door.

She was brought to a dead stop as she collided with Jasper. Bella hit the ground with a thud, leaving another dent. Anger arouse in her blood eyes, clouded with lust to feed. Emmett and I came behind and held her to the ground. She viciously fought against us.

Without realizing what was happening, Jasper, Emmett and I were all thrown across the room and into walls, leaving Bella free. It was so powerful, and if I would have needed breath, it would have been knocked out of me. We all fell to the ground with a thud, but I looked and noticed that Carlisle was still stuck against the wall. As if he was being held there by some force. Then I met Bella's eyes and I knew.

_She is telekinetic!_ Carlisle's thoughts shouted along in my mind with my own.

For the second time, I saw emotion flicker in her eyes. Bewilderment thickly clouded over her features, but in instant it was gone and replaced with bloodlust. She continued holding Carlisle back as if she knew he held the most power. Then as she turned and headed for the door, Carlisle fell to the ground.

"No!" Carlisle roared. "Catch her!" I had not heard his voice so authoritative in many, many years.

I ran with lightening speed. She was fast, but I was faster. She jumped through a window in the living room and began running down the dirt road that lead to town. Within seconds, I was on her heals. I knew the only way to take her down was to jump on her. I did not want to tackle her, but I did not know any other way to stop her.

"Bring her down or I will!" Emmett roared in my ear.

"Cover her eyes!" Carlisle shouted close behind. _She has to make eye contact with something to use her power!_

With that thought I leapt through the air and fell on Bella with an iron grip and immediately blinded her with a strong hand. We plummeted hitting the hard earth like thunder. As we lay tangled on the ground, she began to growl and snap at me. Emmett was holding her down with me by the neck as I covered her eyes and Jasper sprawled across her body.

"Get the deer!" I heard Carlisle command.

Then I saw Alice and Rosalie shoeing the herd of deer towards us. We were struggling to keep her down, but it was manageable. She was really powerful and I could only imagine the damage she could cause using her power along with her strength. I could feel the calming waves Jasper was trying to project on her, but they could not control Bella's desire. She needed to feed…now.

Carlisle threw Emmett a thick strip of fabric. He tied it tightly around her head, completely covering her eyes. She was not happy, not happy at all. Her growls were menacing, and her snap even more ferocious. As we neared her to the deer, her nose whipped up towards the deer. I knew she had grabbed their sent.

"Release her." I gave Carlisle a frantic look. _It is okay Edward. Her senses will lead her to the deer. She will feed, and then we will need to calm her. _

As I heard Carlisle's thoughts, Jasper and I stood up from Bella releasing her. Emmett followed in suit, but still held on to her neck, bringing her to a standing. She growled at Emmett with hate and a guttural growl rolled up to her lips as she tried hopelessly to loosen his grip and get at her blindfold. She may be strong, but Emmett was probably the only one of us who could take her during her first bloodlust and he was able to hold her down.

"I know, I know little sis – your thirsty. Smell-" and he turned her towards the deer that now Alice, Rosalie, and Esme were keeping contained. "-that is where you feed. Smell it, feel it, let it take you over."

As her body started into a lunge, Emmett knew she had felt her target and released her.

We all watched Bella as she stalked out her prey and pounced. It didn't matter that she still had her eyes covered. We could hunt blind if needed.

She was naturally violent her first time, just like we all had been. She easily took down her meal, sunk her teeth under the animals neck instinctually at the softest spot, and after making a puncture she sucked greedily to ease the thirst-filled ache in the back of her throat. Although the meal was not the most satisfying, deer was the only option at the moment. We were not sure what her strength would be like - not that her skin could be punctured, but it did hurt to be thrown around by a wild animal the first time. She would need to learn her strength and how to use if for her advantage before she could move to bigger, more challenging game.

The girls had contained the rest of the herd, so Bella could feed on two more animals. As we saw her body start to calm, she ripped her blindfold off her face. I started towards her, but Carlisle pushed me back.

"Not yet" he barely breathed.

As she looked around her, her eyes started to turn back to crimson from the death black that had overcome them earlier, and we knew her feeding time was coming to an end.

Then it was as if Bella realized what she had just done. She dropped the deer to the ground and looked around. Then she fell to her backside as if disgusted with herself, trying to scurry away from her ravaged meal.

This is exactly how we all felt after our first feeding - when reality hit. We all knew what she was going through. Carlisle released me and I came up behind her and grabbed her in my arms tightly wishing I could make her guilt and disgust go away.

BPOV

Suddenly I felt my lips sucking in a sweet substance and I felt sated. As my senses calmed and I was brought back to reality, I realized exactly what I was doing. I could not see! I scratched at my face and noticed my eyes were covered. _What the -_

And then I saw what I had done. I immediately let go of what I was holding, and when I looked around me I saw all the carcasses. _Did I do this_? I thought to myself. _How did I get outside? _I could feel the confusion whipping across my face. I felt empty and disgusted, and I fell to my butt on the ground shaking violently trying to scoot away from the monster in me.

I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me from behind, and I automatically flinched. I struggled in his grip and just as I was almost released, suddenly Carlisle was in front of me grabbing my face, willing me to look in his eyes. I felt an instinct to do as he requested. As I looked up into his tawny gaze, I was met with compassion and understanding.

"Listen to me Bella. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what just happened. This is expected." Carlisle's voice rang through my mind in a gentle hum.

In that moment, my head began spinning with all the new sounds around me. I could hear every leaf swaying in the wind, chipmunks scurrying up trees, the sound of a beaver burrowing in the water, the plethora of insect buzzes, and the unnecessary breathing of the seven vampires that stood around me. Automatically I felt their presence. I sensed them in a way I never had before.

I felt an immense feeling of shame, as if I had done something horrible. _How did I end up outside? Last I remember is Edward biting me, and then the pain, the immense amount of pain._ I twisted my head out of Carlisle's touch and looked at the ground. I was embarrassed to look him in the eye. The sounds around me became too much and I threw my hands tightly up to my ears. I scrunched my eyes shut and willed everything to go away. I wanted everything to stop.

I don't know how long I sat like that, but eventually the only presence around me was the one holding me from behind, rocking me gently as I sobbed.


	11. Chapter 11

I felt a gentle tug at my hands, which were pushed against my ears trying to block all sounds. I slowly, with hesitation began to open my eyes and allowed my hands to be pulled away. I knew everyone had gone inside except Edward, and I could actually sense where they were in the house. It was an odd feeling.

As Edwards's strong arms enveloped my arms around me under his, I gained awareness of all the events that had unfolded since I awoke. I can't believe I kicked Carlisle! I felt horrible and absolutely mortified. And I can't believe I could move things with my mind, and I threw everyone around the room. That was completely absurd! And the dead animals and all that blood…how utterly horrid!

I began dry heaving, wanting to get rid of everything I had just sucked in, but I knew it was pointless. The blood that I had fed on did not go to my stomach. So, I just wept with no release of tears.

I realized I was shaking uncontrollably and I had closed my eyes again. I felt Edward strengthen his grip on me. His skin felt different and his scent swarmed all around me. It was just as delicious of a smell as before, but so much more powerful and masculine. His skin was no longer cold and rock hard, but it wasn't soft or warm either – it just felt normal against mine. He was humming his lullaby oh so softly into my ear trying to soothe me, rocking me back and forth - like a child. He gently stood up, still holding me and swiftly walked into our cottage.

Edward sat me down on the couch and pulled me to his chest. We sat there an immeasurable amount of time, and as my trembling calmed, I noticed the looming sky growing darker by the minute. I took in my surroundings, looking at my home for the first time with new eyes. My sight felt so much more enhanced and when I focused on a specific point I could see intricate details, such as the paint strokes on the walls or the folds of thread on fabric.

After a full assessment of my surroundings, I met his eyes. I was held in a trance staring at the liquid topaz that seemed to be seeping into my soul.

"Are you okay Bella?" His lilting voice was like wind whispering in my ear. And it was thick with concern.

At first I could not speak. I could not find my voice. Then I stuttered. "I …I … I don't know." I took in a deep gasp as the words flowed out of my mouth. My voice was so different. It sounded like silk.

"What? What is it?" Edward questioned my gasp.

"My voice - it feels so different. Smooth like glass." I was in awe.

Edward chuckled to himself, and it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.

"Yes, it does sound a bit different. Not that your voice was not lovely before, but if I had a beating heart, it would surely stop it." He mused and brushed his lips to my forehead.

"Is everyone mad at me?" I asked in a low voice with my head down.

Edward lifted my chin with his fingers and looked deep into my eyes, swimming through me.

"No, Bella, of course no one is mad at you. Concerned maybe, but not mad. Remember what we have been preparing you for… remember all our stories we shared. Heck, you were nothing compared to Emmett!" He laughed softly lost in his memory.

I couldn't help but believe every word Edward said. It was so weird, but I had complete and utter understanding and trust in him. I couldn't name the feeling, but it was as if he would know what to do no matter what. I felt apart of him now.

"Why don't you take a nice hot shower that will ease your spirit and help you clean up?" He suggested with a sincere smile.

I looked down at myself and was appalled. I was filled with blood, animal hair, and dirt. I was so embarrassed, I just leaned down and put my head in my hands.

Edward knelt in front of me and grabbed me by the shoulders.

"You look absolutely breathtaking to me." He leaned forward and kissed me. This kiss was unlike any of our others. Electricity flowed through us and an aura of lust. He clutched me into him wrapping his arms tight around me and through my hair, as I used to do to him when I was human.

As he slowly pulled away, my eyes remained closed and I breathed in his heady scent. He smelled absolutely tempting. My body tingled in a way I had never felt before.

"Look at me Bella" Edward commanded in a deep voice, husky voice.

I slowly opened my eyes, and immediately drowned into his. "Wow!" I breathed.

"Now _that's_ an understatement." We both laughed at the sheer irony of the situation compared to when we had our first kiss.

"I guess I should go shower now." I stood up and headed towards our bathroom.

As I reached in to turn on the shower, Edward pulled on my arm. "Let me." He said with a crooked grin. I couldn't help but smile widely back.

"I will be right out here if you need me. Just say my name." He instructed.

He turned the knob on the shower to steaming, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and disappeared.

I stripped out of my soiled clothes and threw them on the floor. As I turned to look in the mirror, I gasped at the site in front of me. My body looked so different. My muscles were defined and I had developed a curvaceous figure. I would have been impressed if not for the caked on blood and mud. As I continued my assessment, I noticed my hair was longer and fuller. Then my eyes met my eyes in the mirror and I screamed in horror.

Edward came rushing in, and realizing what I'd done, I immediately ran into the closet to hide.

_How embarrassing!_ Oh, I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I don't know why I screamed, I know my eyes would be red, but it was just so freaky. They made me look like a monster. Then Edward ran in seeing me fully exposed.

"Are you okay Bella?" He asked anxiously.

"Get out of here" I screeched.

"It's okay Bella, I didn't see anything. You ran so quick into the closet, you were a blur. Please don't be embarrassed." I could hear him fighting a smile. "What happened."

I grabbed a towel from a nearby shelf, and wrapped it around me. Then I meekly stepped out of the closet.

"It was my eyes. Edward, I look like a killer, a monster!" I was on the verge of hysterics.

"Shhh….shhhh…." He pulled me into a tight hug that made me feel like I was swimming in comfort. "You are not a monster. You are absolutely lovely. Look for yourself."

He tried to turn me towards the mirror, but I stubbornly refused.

"Come on Bella, look again. I promise it will be okay." He urged.

I allowed him to turn me around and he wrapped his arms around my waist, just under my breasts. Hugging me so close to his body felt so nice, so right.

At first my I kept my eyes sealed shut. Then with some coaxing from Edward, I gradually opened them again. But this time, I didn't see a monster. I saw two of the most beautiful creatures. I finally could match Edward's beauty. The thought brought a smile to my face and my teeth glimmered in the mirror.

I don't know how long I was in the shower, but the hot water felt so good dripping down my body. As I got out, I felt one hundred times better. I quickly got dressed, eager to see Edward and discuss the many questions that were floating in my mind.

I sat down on the couch, my hair still dripping wet.

"Well, you look like you feel much better." Edward grinned and their seemed to be some relief in his voice.

"Actually, I feel horrible about kicking Carlisle, and fighting against you. It was a weird feeling, but as I was doing it, I knew it was wrong. Like something in me was telling me not to fight you or Carlisle. But, I didn't really think about Emmett or Jasper."

"That was your instinct telling you not to go against your elders. Since I changed you, you feel a desire to follow my instruction and not go against me - my venom has flowed through you and is embedded now in your venom, creating an unbreakable bond. But, you also have that bond with the one who created me, as part of his venom was in mine. The feeling to not disobey is stronger with Carlisle because he is a part of me, therefore making him higher in rank than myself and having a more powerful influence on you."

_Uhhh … what!_ I was not expecting him to say that.

"Uh, that is an interesting bit of information you could have shared with me earlier. I had no idea there were ranks." I scowled. I don't know why this made me angry; I was more embarrassed than anything.

"That is one reason why the Volturri have so much power. It didn't seem necessary at the time to tell you. It really is not a big deal. It is just predatory instincts for our type. It would be like not wanting to disobey your mother or father, or the chief of a tribe." He spoke low and gentle, as if not wanting to awake the monster within me.

"So you are like my father!" I didn't mean for it to come out as loud as it did. I really needed to get used to controlling my voice.

Edward let out a low, quiet laughter and brought his hand to my cheek. "I guess you could kind of look at it like that. But I don't Bella. I will never use that to control you. You have my word. You are my partner, my mate, my soul mate – always and foremost."

"So, how much control can you have over someone you've changed?" I asked curiously.

"Well, as you can see, you can fight it like you did. It is more of a feeling of not wanting to disobey. Not feeling right about it. The older the vampire, the stronger the call is. So, older vampires, such as the Volturri, can use it as an advantage because the one's they create almost always become their servants."

I shuddered at the thought.

"Enough talk about that. How are you really feeling Bella?"

"Different. A bit edgy and nervous. And I have a constant burning in the back of my throat." I reached up and put my hand around my throat as if the touch would soothe the ache.

"That is normal. We should hunt soon again then to try to ease your discomfort -" He stopped when he saw the expression on my face. I did not want to kill an animal again, and I had just gotten all cleaned up.

"It is better than killing a human Bella, and it gets easier, I promise. Besides, if we wait too long, then bloodlust will consume you again – and we don't want that to happen without control of your power first."

My power! "Edward, honestly, I have no idea how I did that. It just happened. I-I am so sorry I threw you against a wall."

"I must say we were all taken back. It is such a strong power, but we always knew you were something special." He grinned slyly.

"I don't think I could do it again if I tried. It was probably a fluke" I tried focusing on picking up the coffee table with my mind and it didn't budge.

"Well, usually powers such as those only come out at first when the host is in danger. You were confused, wanted to feed, and we were holding you down. Your body naturally reacted. Within time and training, you will be able to gain control of these powers and use them at your own free will."

"Why was I blindfolded?"

"Carlisle figured out that you have to make eye contact with something to move it."

"I don't want to feed again. What if I lost control again? Who knows who I would hurt?"

"Don't worry we will take precautions. So, do you think you are up to saying hi to everyone? They are about to jump through the roof with excitement over at the house. If it is too soon, that is completely understandable as well. The decision is yours. What would you like to do?"

I was really nervous to see everyone. And I was embarrassed by my previous behavior. I stared at my knees fidgeting with my wet hair, unable to answer.

"Bella, no one is judging you. The way you behaved is normal. Like I said before, you have nothing to be ashamed of - especially after hearing all our stories." His voice was like velvet and it comforted me.

"Okay, if you think it is really okay." I said reluctantly in the smallest of whispers.

"I think it will be wonderful."

We stood up to go greet our family together for the first time.


	12. Chapter 12

EPOV

We weren't even to the house and Alice came barreling out to greet us. I thought Bella would fall over from the impact as Alice collided into her, hugging her so fiercely.

"You okay?" Alice asked, eyes brimming with excitement.

"Yea, I think so." Bella said shyly. Although we could no longer see the affect of her embarrassment throw a crimson tide crashing onto her skin, the feelings still came to her easily.

I watched with a sense of joy as my family welcomed Bella, one by one, to the family _officially_.

"Wow, you look amazing Bella" Rosalie said with a genuine smile. "Not that you didn't look okay before or anything."

"Thanks Rosalie – don't worry, I know what you mean." Bella replied.

"Now we don't have to worry about me attacking you Bella!" Jasper honestly looked relieved.

Everyone broke out into an infectious laughter.

"This feels so weird. Everything is so different. I mean just the feel and look of everything, like the colors in this vase." She bent down and grabbed one of Esme's antique glass vases. It instantly crumbled in her hands and pieces of glass shattered on the floor like ice.

"Oh God! I am so sorry Esme." Bella looked horrified.

Again, everyone broke out laughing.

Bella began to scowl, confusion overwhelming her features.

"This is horrible. Don't laugh! The vase was probably an expensive heirloom, and now I've ruined it!" Bella looked as if she could cry.

Immediately I felt guilty and enveloped Bella in a hug.

Esme disappeared and immediately came back. "This is what is so funny!" She held out the exact same vase as the one Bella just broke.

"But how?" Bella asked in awe. .

"After Emmett was changed, I went out and bought like 5 replicas. It has been broken so many times."

"Don't worry," Jasper cocked an eyebrow towards Bella, "It just initiated you as a Cullen!"

Bella smiled widely and then was pulled away by Rose, Esme and Alice.

As the ladies were gushing over Bella's new looks, I looked up and noticed Carlisle studying Bella warily.

_Is she okay Edward?_

I looked up towards the ceiling to indicate a "Yes", but gave my shoulders the slightest shrug to motion an "I think".

_I need you to listen to me now and not freak out._

I looked down to the ground but cocked my ear towards him to show I was listening.

_I got some titanium chains just in case._

I looked towards Carlisle with a scowl.

_It is just a precaution Edward. She is very powerful and has no control over that yet._

Titanium is the only type of metal that could inflict pain on a vampire. Although it could never kills us, its touch scorched the skin so badly it left the vampire weak and unable to fight. The pain is immense. Only one time had I been subjected to it, and that was Carlisle's request so I knew what it felt like. The only vampires I knew who used it were the Volturri to keep prisoners in check when Jane was not around.

_You need to promise me that if it comes down to it you will not fight it._

I didn't make any movement or notion committing me to this promise. I couldn't.

_Edward, listen to me. _ And I could hear Carlisle snarl which immediately drew my attention._ I don't want to hurt her in anyway, you know that. But it could be the only way to control her if things get out of hand. Imagine how she would feel if she really hurt one of us or if she killed a human._

I couldn't argue with Carlisle. He had me there. So, I looked up at the ceiling again, showing my assurance that I would not put up a fight.

_She needs to hunt again. Let's take her now. _

I gave him a nod, and went over and gently wrapped my arms around my angel.

"Bella," I whispered in her ear. "We are going to show you how to hunt now."

Everyone's faces grew with excitement, but I instantly felt Bella stiffen.

_She's afraid Edward. _ Jasper informed me.

"I don't want to." Bella replied in a low voice, embarrassed by her actions.

Carlisle noticed Bella's hesitation. "I know Bella, but you need to. Your body needs to feed; I can see it in your eyes. We need you to feed before bloodlust consumes you again. You will need to hunt often the first few weeks, until your body learns to control its urges." He instructed. His voice authoritative; he was not going to take no for an answer.

"I don't think I should." Bella turned to Carlisle fearfully. "I am so sorry about kicking you. I am so sorry to everyone." Her voice was trembling.

Esme came up to Bella and hugged her maternally. "Do not apologize Bella. No one was hurt, and it was a normal reaction."

_Should I help?_ Jasper's thoughts entered my mind.

I gave him an inconspicuous nod. Then the room was filled with serenity. I could see Bella feel directly at ease.

Carlisle came up and gently cupped the sides of Bella's face in a very protective way. "We won't let you get out of control again Bella, I promise." His voice rang with sincerity.

We made our way out to the cars. Everyone was going to come to help. Bella and I drove with Carlisle and Esme, while the others followed in my Volvo.

"Don't worry Bella; it will be easier this time. You will get used to hunting – it is a natural instinct for us. I promise." Esme tried to soothe Bella's concerns. With Jasper in the other car, Bella's anxiety had quickly returned. She could barely sit still.

"It's not just that. What about my power. What if I lose control again?" Ah, so that was it. She was worried that she would hurt us.

I held her closer to me. "How many times do I have to tell you that you cannot hurt us, my love? Trust me, we will be safe, and so will you."

_We do need to train her to control that Edward - sooner than later. _Carlisle spoke in my mind.

I knew Carlisle was right, but I also knew that this training that Carlisle wanted to ensue would hurt Bella. As of now, she could only use her power if she felt threatened in anyway or during bloodlust. We would have to make her feel that way, as if she was in danger, in order to get her used to her power and control it. I did not want to do that; I don't think I ever could purposely hurt my Bella.

I quickly shook the thoughts away.

When we reached our destination, we stepped out to the car. I knew we would be in no fear of humans near us, because it would be impossible for them to make the hike we were about to run. The game in this area was big and challenging and would provide a perfect opportunity for Bella to gain skill and confidence in hunting.

Bella looked hesitantly at the mountain that stood before us.

"We are going to go up that?" her voice came out barely a whisper. Her expression turned to shock as she watched the others quickly, effortlessly begin their ascent and disappear up the peak, leaving ghostly chuckles echoing in the wind.

"Don't worry, I promise it will be fun." I grabbed her hand tightly and pulled her with me as I began to run up the mountain, following the others.

I couldn't help but grin ear to ear as I was sneaked glances at Bella while we ran. Since she awoke from the transformation, this was the first time I had seen her let herself go. She seemed so relax and almost at peace - becoming one with her new self and letting pleasure in.

Suddenly, she halted to a stop and I saw her eyes go death black and her body tense into a crouch.

"Bella?..." She didn't answer, she didn't have to – I could smell it. What were humans doing out her? How in the world…?


	13. Chapter 13

_Cover her eyes quickly!_ Carlisle's thought roared in my mind.

But before I could react, Bella had taken off, ripping her hand from mine.

Emmett collided into her and was instantly thrown off into a tree that shattered on impact.

I was close on her heals, but she was just out of my grip.

Then Rosalie and Alice came at her, and she threw them together, so they collided like bolts of lightning tangling to the ground.

Finally, she was in my reach, and I tackled her violently from behind. I had to be rough with her. Immediately I covered her eyes and pulled her hands behind her back. She was fighting me off and I was starting to loose my grip. Quickly Jasper came up and grabbed the top of her arms shoving her chest into the earth, while Emmett encased her legs in an iron grip.

Esme came in front of us and was gently stroking Bella's hear. She jumped back as Bella uncontrollably snapped at the touch.

_My, my, she is a feisty one…_ Esme's tease filled my mind trying to calm me but her face held worry.

"Can you calm her Jasper?" Rosalie's voice was thick with concern.

"No, her anger is too strong."

"Whatever you do Edward, don't let go of her eyes! If we let her go, the results will be devastating." With that I saw a flash of vision in Alice's mind of Bella savagely killing the humans and hating herself immensely – retreating into a deep depression.

No! That won't happen!

"We need to get her away from the scent, and she needs to feed!" I yelled. "Where is Carlisle?" He seemed to have disappeared in the chaos.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw Carlisle walk up with gloves on holding a thick titanium chain and a blind fold.

"No Carlisle!" I roared. "We will not chain her!"

At that moment Bella growled viciously snapping and thrashing around trying to flip over; we could barely contain her.

"Calm down Edward. It will just be until we move to a safe distance away from the scent of humans. How humans got up here to begin with is beyond me. We should have checked out the area first anyway." Carlisle spoke gently and calmly.

"No!" my voice was dripping with fury. "We can carry her away. We don't need to subject her to punishment and pain. This is not her fault!" I gritted my teeth and tightened my grip on Bella to make it seem like she was not struggling much. In a fuming response, she almost threw me off her.

"We cannot move her with her fighting us like this." Emmett nearly growled. "Look none of us want to have Bella in pain, but we don't have a choice right now. She will survive."

"Would you rather her suffer a bit of pain right now, or let her slip away and have her suffer an immeasurable amount of anguish later?" Rosalie's voice was pleading. _Remember what happened to me Edward_. Her thoughts whispered in my mind. I quickly remembered Rosalie's first human kill. It took months before she even stepped out of her room, she would leave only to hunt, only if we brought animals right up to the door. It took a long time to get Rosalie out of her depression and it was partly due to her finding Emmett.

"Let me through Edward." _You promised you would not put up a fight and I promised her I would keep her in control. Let me keep this promise._ Why did Carlisle always have to lay the guilt on so thick?

"Fine." I took the blindfold from Carlisle's hand and forcefully put it over Bella's eyes. She was almost bit my fingers off, as I brushed her cheek with my hand. No matter how heated and furious she was, she was still unspeakably beautiful.

While I held down her neck and the side of her face and Emmett held her legs, Jasper held her arms to her back as Carlisle leaned down and wrapped her wrists and forearms in the chains. Her growls were menacing and as soon as the metal touched her stone skin, she screamed in agony.

Immediately I could hear them sizzle into her skin and watched as Bella began to shake and convulse violently. She had only let out one scream, and I know the pain was so immense that she couldn't speak. I shut my eyes and turned away.

"Edward?" In a brief moment of comprehension, Bella's voice rasped sounding confused, frightened and weak. I couldn't face her.

_She needs you._ Alice's voice hissed in my thoughts.

I turned back to her, and wiped her hair away from her face. It was agony to watch her like this.

"Shhh… I am right here Bella." I knew my words wouldn't soothe her right now.

"What is happening, take these off of me!" The anger was back. She was trying to break free of the unbreakable metal restraints and panic and rage were dripping from her lips.

I picked her up gently, quickly and held her chest to mine, cradling her like a young child. She continued to squirm and snarl, but her strength was almost diminished and I could feel her fight weaken.

I heard her start to whimper and feel limp in my arms, and I knew we needed to hurry.

"Let's go!" I growled.

We ran until we found a place with absolutely no trace of human smell. Bella seemed to be delirious at that point, moaning and whimpering, questioning why we would do this to her.

Alice, Jasper and Rosalie had cornered a group of wild bears who had been feeding and were absolutely irate. Bella didn't even seem to react to the smell.

"Place her on the ground." Carlisle instructed. "Be ready the second I take these chains off. She may look wary now, but rage still burns strongly inside."

I laid my angel to the ground and gently brushed my lips against her forehead. I hoped she would forgive us after this. We had never told her about the titanium…we never had a chance to warn her. She must be so confused. I should have told her about it in the car ride here.

As I sat on my knees in front of her, holding her shoulders so she was lying on her side, Carlisle came up behind.

"Ready?" Carlisle's voice was thick with concern.

Emmett rested a hand on my shoulder, ready to strike if needed. "Ready." He confirmed.

Gently Carlisle undid the chains and slid them off of Bella's blistered skin. I could see the wounds immediately beginning to heal, but I knew that the pain inflicted inside would not go away so easily.

At first Bella sat their limp, not moving.

"Is she okay?" I heard Rosalie ask.

I reached forward to take off her blind fold, so I could see her eyes, but Carlisle instantly stopped me.

_You don't want to do that son. Let's try to stand her up. _Carlisle coached.

Still holding her shoulders I gradually began to lift her to her feet. Her hands shot out grabbing me by the neck and throwing me out of her way. Carlisle grabbed her from behind and Emmett grabbed her neck forcing her to face forward. They both led her to where the bears were being contained.

Then comprehension flickered on her face as she smelled the blood flowing through the veins of the vicious animals in front of her. She moved into a lunge, ready to pounce.

Emmett turned to Carlisle, he gave a swift nod, and they released her.

Guided by her senses of smell, touch, taste, and sound, she easily attacked the first bear. As she was sucking the life from it, another bear came up and swatted her from behind with a huge claw. These bears were twice her size, and the hit stunned her momentarily throwing her to the ground.

I lunged forward to jump in.

"No!" Carlisle yelled and turned to Emmett. Emmett wrapped his arms around me and held me back.

As Bella was trying to gain back awareness, the biggest of the bears pounced on her pinning her to the ground, pummeling her face with his enormous paw. She wasn't fighting back.

I struggled hopelessly and the anger grew within.

_Calm down Edward. _

_She needs to learn how to defend._

_She will be fine Edward._

_I know this is tough, but you freaking out is not helping the situation._

_Get a hold of yourself man!_

Everyone's thoughts tumbled into my head.

"Fight back Bella!" Carlisle's voice instructed.

With a harsh hit across her head, the bear had managed to tear Bella's blindfold off. Instantly she gained awareness, flinging the bear off of her with her mind. Within seconds she had snapped the bear's neck and drank him dry. She did the same to the third and fourth bear.

As her thirst became sated; I saw the black depths of her eyes turn to a fiery red. She turned and looked all of us in the eyes with evident confusion, pain and betrayal.


	14. Chapter 14

BPOV

I was trembling and dropped to my knees. I felt extremely weak, physically and mentally, although my thirst was heavily sated, and I could feel no ache in my throat.

Violent flashes of the recent past events rushed through my mind. The irresistible smell of human blood pulsating through electric veins, attacking everyone, being blindfolded and brutally chained…. How could they do that to me, treat me like a wild animal. They were supposed to be my family, not hurt me. I didn't think anything could hurt a vampire! Why was this kept from me! Anger pooled in my stomach like a raging river breaking through a dam. I felt betrayed.

I felt waves of calm flow through me. Jasper was trying to calm me down; I knew he could feel my rage.

"Don't Jasper" I growled glaring at him. He met my glare with a look that held pity and determination.

I did not want anyone's damn pity and it made me more furious. I wanted to know why I was chained up.

"Easy Bella," Carlisle was by my side with Emmett close behind. They thought I couldn't control myself now. He went to touch my back, and I instantly flinched away.

"Don't touch me." I whispered violently, but even as I spoke the words, I could feel the anger dissipating with Jaspers control. I was too weak to fight it.

"Why didn't anyone tell me about this?" I was hurt and embarrassed.

"I should have told you Bella. I didn't want to scare you. Calm your anger. You are so young and strong, and without controlling your power, we did not have a choice. Would you rather have lost control?" Carlisle was smooth and steady. He was trying to get through to me and I felt as if I was being scolded by my father.

"Bella, we had no choice." Alice had flittered to my side. "I saw you killing the humans, and we were not able to stop you. You would have hated yourself."

At that moment I knew I had no right to be mad and with Jasper controlling my emotions, it was hard to put up much of a fight.

As I looked into the eyes of my family, I only saw love and concern seeping through me. Not betrayal. I shook my head trying to control my anger and gain my senses.

Then I realized that I should be grateful - I was able to be controlled and I did not hurt anyone. Was this Jaspers doing, or was this my real feelings?

I met eyes with Carlisle for the first time, and I could not be angry any longer.

"I am so sorry!" I cried.

He leaned down next to me, gently rubbing my back, holding me as a father would a young child.

"Shhh…Bella….it's okay. We should have told you ahead of time about the titanium. It is our fault. I am sorry we scared you." Carlisle explained trying to calm my heaving body.

I looked down on the ground. I was ashamed at the accusations of distrust I had just thought about my family. They would never do anything to hurt me, I know that now.

I felt a cool finger gently lift my chin.

"There is no reason to be ashamed dear," Esme's voice was like a soothing blanket. "You were confused, scared and hurt; I would have felt the same way."

"Yea me too!" Rosalie snorted. I chuckled at that. Rosalie would have gone crazy!

I instantly felt the tension around me begin to lift.

Suddenly, someone was behind me, lifting me in their arms, and hugging me to their strong chest.

I knew it was Edward.

"I am so sorry!" He whispered in my ear and his voice was filled with agony.

I touched his cheek so he would know I did not blame him.

"I am okay. But, I feel really weak." My voice was still trembling.

"I know - that is normal. It is the effect of the chains. You will feel back to normal within the next couple of hours." Carlisle assured. "Let's get you home."

I could feel Edward's chest heaving as he was sobbing silently into my shoulder as he was carrying me and running towards the car. He was holding me tightly, and I knew he felt bad about what had happened. I vaguely remember him arguing with Carlisle about the chains, and I knew he was not happy about it.

My arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, and I reached up and gently kissed his neck. He looked down into my eyes at that moment with so much love that I thought my dead heart would start beating again.

When we got to the car, Edward looked at me with excitement in his eyes. Instead of getting into the back seat with me, he closed the door and I could see him talking with Carlisle. He spoke in French, and I had absolutely no idea what he was saying. I saw Carlisle laugh with a beaming grin and nod his head. Then he got into the car with me and Esme.

"What is Edwa…" Before I had a chance to ask, Edward swiftly opened my door.

"You go back to the house with Carlisle and Esme. I have an errand to run. I will be home in a few hours!" He sounded so excited, like a child on Christmas morning.

Before I could protest, he gave me a quick kiss and disappeared.

"Where is he going?" I demanded confused.

Carlisle chuckled softly and told me not to worry. That is was a surprise.

"I hate surprises." I grumbled softly.

Esme laughed openly, looked back at me putting her hand on my knee and said, "Surprises are what bring romance to our existence Bella. Enjoy them!"

I couldn't help but smile back at Esme's warm expression.

The drive back seemed to take forever. I couldn't wait to get back to the house so I could bombard Alice with questions, knowing she would have seen a vision of Edward's surprise. But, I noticed Carlisle driving slower than usual, and I had an uneasy feeling he wanted to talk about what had happened this afternoon.

"Bella, we need to talk." Although it was a statement, Carlisle was asking for my permission.

I met his intense gaze in the review mirror and nodded for him to proceed.

"Can you recall the way you reacted when smelling the humans?" His voice held a gentle caution.

"Yes." I spoke grimly. "The pain to feed was overwhelming. I could not control myself. The pulsing blood was entrancing me like nothing I have ever felt."

"Understand that it won't always be like that Bella. You are so extremely young. The pull is much stronger when you are first turned."

"Good." Relief was thick in my voice.

"Bella, I want to warn you ahead of time that the next few days are going to be difficult. We need to start helping you gain control of your power."

I looked down at my knees, embarrassed and full of anxiety.

I saw Esme grab Carlisle's hand and from the corner of my eye I saw her give him an intense glare as if to say, now is not the time.

"Uh… well…. we can discuss this later." Carlisle stammered.

I smirked to myself still looking down. I had never seen Carlisle lose his composure, and I guess it would make sense that Esme would have that power over him.

"You have been through a lot today. I know Edward has something real special planned for the two of you. You just enjoy that tonight, honey." Esme looked back at me as she spoke and placed her hand on my knee.

As I looked up, I noticed that we were already to the house. I couldn't wait to get inside and hound Alice.


End file.
